Life Advice
/Health
/ArcaMax
Asking Eric: Relatives in another country prefer sister
Dear Eric: I send birthday and Christmas gifts to my great-niece (8) and great-nephew (3) who live in another country. I haven't seen my great-niece since she was 6 months old and I've never met my great-nephew. I am not close to their parents, my nephew and his wife.
We communicate via WhatsApp. I ask them what the kids would like and get ...Read more
Carpooling Co-Worker Tattles On Driver
DEAR HARRIETTE: I carpool with my friend to work. I pick her up every day because she's on the way and doesn't drive. We've been late a few times, and our job has a protocol for lateness. My supervisor doesn't keep close tabs on our team's timestamps, so she hardly realized when I was late. My friend's supervisor, however, happened to notice her...Read more
Host Pulls Out Leftovers At Holiday Dinner
DEAR MISS MANNERS: My parents invited my family over for New Year's Day to celebrate. As I like to cook, I prepared two entrees to be reheated when we got there. I put in time and effort to prepare a meal they would enjoy. My parents were going to make some pasta and also picked up bread.
Upon our arrival at their house, my mother took out some...Read more
Finding Connection in Later Life
Dear Annie: Now that my husband and I are in our 70s, it feels as if our social world has shrunk to the size of a postage stamp. Friends have moved away to be near their children, others are dealing with health issues, and a few have simply drifted off. We used to host dinners, take short trips and enjoy a lively circle. Now the phone barely ...Read more
Jealousy Alienates Last Person In Loner's Life
DEAR ABBY: My husband and I have been together 23 years, married for almost nine. We are in our 60s. It's the second marriage for both of us. I retired due to having to move to another state for his job. I make friends wherever I go and get involved in community activities.
My husband has NO friends. Seriously. ZERO! He goes to work and comes ...Read more
Asking Eric: Neighbor’s kind act creates more problems
Dear Eric: I am getting older. I have lived in my home more than half my life. I raised my children, educated myself, had a career and launched my kids while living here as a long-divorced person.
In the last few years, my body has changed. I now use a walker. My mind works just fine. Many confuse mobility issues with thinking issues.
Today, a...Read more
Harriette Shares Tips On Redesigning Your Life
DEAR READERS: Happy New Year! Can you believe that 2025 has passed us by already? It's hard to grasp, and yet here we are. Take a moment to breathe and reflect on all that occurred in the past year. What did you learn? How did you grow? What do you need to work on moving forward? Be honest with yourself -- and also be kind to yourself.
Now look...Read more
Is The Container Part Of The Gift?
DEAR MISS MANNERS: A friend came to a dinner party and brought with her the tin I had given her at Christmas. It had been filled with homemade curried nuts, and she had eaten those and washed out the tin. She apologized for not returning it sooner and left it on my kitchen counter.
Last Christmas, I gave another friend some small packages of ...Read more
Coping With an Empty Nest at the Holidays
Dear Annie: I've read plenty about empty-nest depression and how to cope with it, and I managed that stage just fine. I enjoyed my grandchildren and watched them grow into teenagers. But now I'm struggling with something different: how to handle the emptiness of the holidays.
I have two sons. One has always made sure I get time with his ...Read more
A Chance For New Beginning As The New Year Dawns
DEAR READERS: Welcome to 2026! A New Year has arrived; the last one is safely behind us. As always, this New Year brings with it our hopes for a new beginning.
Today presents an opportunity to discard destructive old habits for healthy new ones, and with that in mind, I will share Dear Abby's often-requested list of New Year's Resolutions -- ...Read more
Single File: Walking Single File
Married or not, each of us walks single file through life's landscape, because everyone has a "single" part, our unique individuality -- separate and apart from the crowd. Yet from time to time, we may travel in lockstep, two by two, when someone we like comes nearby and walks with us. Drawn by love's force, this person may stay with us for a ...Read more
Asking Eric: Friend’s outburst ruins game night
Dear Eric: A group of seven elders – men and women, ages 60 to 90 – have gotten together once a week to play poker at my unit in our condo building for almost two years. As my husband and I are the only couple, we provide the food, set up the game with chips. My husband is disabled and an introvert, so this is the only way that entertaining ...Read more
Parent Wishes Son Would Call More Often
DEAR HARRIETTE: My son rarely calls me or reaches out to me, and it makes me question whether I did something wrong raising him. He is now a sophomore at a college halfway across the country. I was sad to see him go away, but I assumed he would call me first sometimes. I thought wrong; if I want to hear from him, I need to call him. What hurts ...Read more
Raise A Glass (Of Water) To Freedom
DEAR MISS MANNERS: At a company holiday party, one of my colleagues decided not to partake of the wine that was offered. During a round of toasts, she was admonished -- in a good-natured way -- by co-workers, for raising her water glass. They said toasting someone with water is bad luck.
Aside from the luck angle, is there an etiquette rule ...Read more
Put Peace First in 2026
Dear Readers: Before we rush into a brand-new year, I want to pause and say thank you. Thank you for reading, for writing in and for trusting me with the parts of your life you don't always share at the dinner table. Thank you for letting this corner of the page be a place where we can talk about the messy, meaningful work of being human. I ...Read more
Asking Eric: Sister sends gifts despite repeated requests to stop
Dear Eric: My husband’s family has a long-standing tradition of not buying Christmas gifts for adults, just the small children. It keeps Christmas less hectic and allows us to concentrate on what’s important: spending time together as a large extended family.
Years ago, I suggested to my highly dysfunctional family a similar approach. Most ...Read more
Game Show Participation Could Cost Job
DEAR HARRIETTE: I recently got cast on a game show that I've watched for years and I've always wanted to be on! This is a dream come true and very exciting; however, filming it takes about 45 days. I don't have enough vacation time from my job, so if I go on the show, I would have to quit my job. I didn't think that I would get this far in the ...Read more
Sometimes Incredulity Is The Best Response
DEAR MISS MANNERS: When I meet new people and tell them where I earned my bachelor's degree and what my plans for the future are, I frequently get comments and questions such as, "Wow, you must be really smart," or "Did you do well on the MCAT?" or "What was your GPA?"
Having been raised to consider this information personal, I am unsure how to...Read more
Life's Messy Moments Count the Most
Dear Annie: Every December, my life starts to feel like one of those "year in review" videos -- only mine looks more like the blooper reel.
Back in January, I sat at my kitchen table with a brand-new planner, a cinnamon latte and all the determination in the world. I even wrote, "This Is Jenna's Year" in big blue letters on the first page. I ...Read more
Friend's Comments Have Fallen Short of Friendly
DEAR ABBY: I am a very overweight woman, but down 50 pounds from my top weight and continuing at a consistent, but slow, rate to lose. My A1C is now down to pre-diabetic, so I know my efforts are making a difference. I recently had a terrible bout of sciatica and pain in an arthritic knee, which kept me from some anticipated travel.
A good (so ...Read more
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