Life Advice
/Health
/ArcaMax
Maybe Bring Your Own Water Next Time
DEAR MISS MANNERS: I am writing this on a flight to Dallas after the flight attendant just served my soft drink. Is it just me, or are other airline passengers just as irritated by the way these drinks are served?
More often than not, the attendant will stand in the aisle, check the drink order list, then grab the top of the cup with their ...Read more
Stuck in a Lopsided Friendship
Dear Annie: I've been close friends with "Tina" for over 25 years. We've raised our kids together and supported each other through losses and hard times. But in the last year or so, things have shifted. Tina has become increasingly self-absorbed; every conversation circles back to her. If I share something I'm struggling with, she'll respond ...Read more
Longtime Friend Feels Ignored After Woman's Passing
DEAR ABBY: My friend of 50 years passed away a few months ago. I sent a fruit basket to her family and tried calling, but I was unable to get through. I couldn't reach them via email or text either. I also sent a sympathy card. I heard nothing back from her husband or the daughter I am closest to. She's my godchild, and I was always involved in ...Read more

Asking Eric: Sibling rivalry results in $20k ‘bill’ to parents
Dear Eric: My husband and I have been married for 40 years. He has two adult sons in their 60s and I have an adult daughter in her 50s. Over the years we have helped one son, who has two children and my daughter, who has one child, while they were going through divorces with large sums of money in order for them to keep their houses. We have ...Read more
Club Member Steals Photographer's Work
DEAR HARRIETTE: I recently joined a local photography club because I wanted to meet other photographers, improve my skills and share my work in a supportive environment. Most members are great, but one person has started posting some of my photos online without my permission and giving themselves credit as the photographer. It makes me feel ...Read more
Bladder Versus Neighbors
DEAR MISS MANNERS: After commuting to the same job for 15 years, 15 minutes from my home, last winter I took a better job an hour away. My body refuses to adjust to this new reality. Even though I have virtually stopped drinking water or coffee in the afternoons, and even though I visit the ladies' room last thing before leaving the office, I ...Read more
Home Projects Left Half-Finished
Dear Annie: I am 67 years old and have been married for 43 years to a man who treats me well, has been a fair father and has tried his best to be a good husband. My problem is that although I worked for 30 years as a registered nurse and contributed more than half to our retirement (we have a very comfortable retirement), my very old home is ...Read more
Neighbors Don't Miss Opportunity To Wheel And Deal
DEAR ABBY: My mother passed away last year, and my father is 90. I am trying to get their primary and vacation homes staged for sale. It is a HUGE job as they were hoarders. They were popular, and when I go to their cabin, all their neighbors want to come and chat with me and Dad.
Because the property is unique and valuable, several of them ...Read more

Ask Anna: When is love not enough to make a lasting relationship?
Dear Anna,
I’m 27 and have been with my boyfriend (29) for almost three years. We care about each other deeply, but lately I’ve started to notice how different we are in our day-to-day lives. I’m someone who likes structure — I meal prep, budget and plan things out weeks in advance. He’s more of a “let’s see what happens” kind ...Read more
Single File: Answer Me This
Feeling a bit jumpy from the day's news -- and grind? Well, you're invited to kick off your shoes, pour yourself a cold drink and have fun. This is going to be a fall of brain ticklers, where you can kick back and relax and then fast-forward your answer. Oh -- one more thing: There just may be some current events tossed into the columns, so be ...Read more

Asking Eric: After medical miracle, daughter is angry about mom’s travel
Dear Eric: I’m in my 60s and have a crippling disease that kept me housebound for nearly five years. My daughter moved back home around that time after her sister took her life and left behind a young son, whom we have been raising together.
A new medication for this disease was recently approved. I’ve been taking it for two years, and it ...Read more
Friend Feels Like Hanging Out Requires Too Many Photos
DEAR HARRIETTE: My friends are always pulling out their phones to take photos whenever we hang out, whether it's at dinner, a casual walk or even just hanging out at someone's apartment. I know it's normal these days, but I hate being in photos because I feel awkward and self-conscious in front of the camera. I never like how I look in photos, ...Read more
Embarrassed By Mom's Tableside Handwashing
DEAR MISS MANNERS: After a meal at a restaurant, my mother is in the habit of vigorously rubbing both of her hands with one or two lemon slices, squeezing the juice into her palms, pouring water onto a napkin, then wiping her hands. She will even go so far as to shake excess water from her hands onto her plate.
Mother thinks this is perfectly ...Read more
From Stepmother to Stranger
Dear Annie: I have been married for more than 35 years, but for most of that time, I have felt unloved and trapped. I came into this marriage desperately wanting children, and when my husband was widowed young with two little ones, I stepped in and raised them as my own. I was the one who got out of bed in the night, went to every school event...Read more

Asking Eric: Father-in-law and life coach interfere with marriage
Dear Eric: Several years ago, I moved to the U.S. from Europe to marry my wife. Her father agreed to support us financially until my work authorization was approved. Around the time of the approval my wife suffered a severe mental health crisis and needed time to recover.
My father-in-law hired a "life coach" and my wife and I worked with her ...Read more
Birthday Party Is Nothing Like Reader Wanted
DEAR HARRIETTE: My 30th birthday just passed, and it was awful. I hate to sound ungrateful, but what should feel like a major milestone felt completely overlooked. Honestly, I've had a rough year, so I was OK with having a quiet birthday this year -- just some reminiscing, goal setting and maybe some quality time with friends. Someone asked me ...Read more
Don't Compare Different Types Of Grief
DEAR MISS MANNERS: I was at dinner with two friends, and one shared the terrible news that her beloved dog had been diagnosed with an aggressive cancer. The only treatment is to make the dog comfortable for as long as possible, probably not more than a few months.
In tears, she said, "This is our kid," and the other friend stiffened.
The other...Read more
Between Two Daughters
Dear Annie: There is a sad and bitter battle playing out between my two daughters, and as their mother, I feel helpless to stop it. My oldest has always been the more fragile of the two. She struggles with accountability and has often relied on family to untangle the knots of her life. Years ago, she was widowed, and though her husband left ...Read more
Friend's Presence Made Father's Funeral More Stressful
DEAR ABBY: My close friend "Annie" came to my father's funeral. She had met him only a couple of times. While I realized she was doing it to be there for me, I felt responsible for her since she knew no one there. I had her sit with me, but I was trying to deal with friends and family I hadn't seen in a long time. I ended up unable to talk with ...Read more

Asking Eric: Divorced daughter moved back in but won’t move on
Dear Eric: My 37-year-old daughter, along with her 10-year-old son, live with my wife and me. My daughter shares custody with my grandson’s father.
My daughter is two years sober, which is great. She works most days in an outdoor profession but has many days off due to weather.
When she’s not working, she’s sitting in her room on her ...Read more