Life Advice
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Millennial Life: Letting Joy Lift You
The city invited me to ride on its inaugural hot-air balloon flight. We headed to the local high school fields at a chilly dawn, and the brand new balloon slowly woke as air and heat gave it shape. The burners thundered, and the basket rocked beneath our feet. Then the ground loosened its hold. Gravity softened. The familiar sense of weight, not...Read more
Asking Eric: Sisters are estranged but one wants closure
Dear Eric: I guess I don't know how to let it go. My sister is five years older. There was a problem during a visit she made with her grandson more than 10 years ago. Her husband caused chaos and confusion, but she blamed me. She said she would never speak to me anymore and she hasn’t.
Our beloved sister passed this year. I called to inform ...Read more
Being Punished for Moving Forward
Dear Annie: I got divorced after 27 years of marriage. I didn't leave because I stopped loving my husband -- I left because I was lonely inside my own home. We stopped talking, stopped laughing, stopped noticing each other. I spent years saying, "It's fine" until one day I realized I didn't want my life to be fine. I wanted it to be real.
My ...Read more
Patron Provides Two Cents' Worth On Tipping
DEAR ABBY: It seems that everywhere I go, people expect tips. Yesterday, I pulled up to the drive-through at a cookie store, and before I paid or was handed my cookies, the clerk asked, "Would you like to leave a tip?" My niece recently told me that after she left a tip at a restaurant, the server followed her outside and asked if she hadn't ...Read more
Asking Eric: Life-long friends stop sharing life’s trials
Dear Eric: I have a few longtime friends. After four years of caretaking, my mom passed away from dementia. After that, I had to arrange for the selling of furnishings and the house. My 65-year-old brother who shared the house with her has cerebral palsy and required round-the-clock care. So, I had to arrange all that.
During this approximately...Read more
Parent Questions Son's Use Of Monetary Gift
DEAR HARRIETTE: My son told me that he's in need of a laptop, as his old one broke down on him. I asked what was keeping him from getting a new one, and he shared that he didn't want to overspend without saving up a bit longer. A couple of weeks went by, and I decided to give him more than half of the cost of the computer he wanted. I told him ...Read more
'no Gifts; Cards Mandatory'
DEAR MISS MANNERS: I got married recently. It is a second marriage for both of us, but our first weddings were two decades ago, and we wanted to have a special event that really felt like a wedding.
We paid for the whole thing ourselves. It was simple and relatively small, but it was definitely and unambiguously a wedding: We sent paper ...Read more
Dear Annie: Abusive 20-Year Relationship Must Come to an End
Dear Annie: I see that you often answer questions pertaining to families trapped in addiction. I grew up in that special hell with all of the complex trauma issues that go along with that lifestyle.
I am a card-carrying member of Alcoholics Anonymous and Adult Children of Alcoholics. I have found ACA the most helpful. You never mention it, so I...Read more
Siblings' Relationship Suffers Sharp Decline In Value
DEAR ABBY: A few years back, my brother gave me a substantial amount of cryptocurrency. A couple of years after that, he did something that hurt me and my husband deeply and destroyed any trust I had in him. As a result, I have greatly reduced contact with him as well as my entire family.
When I explained how what he did made me feel and how it...Read more
Three best friends from childhood decided to commit -- by buying a communal house together
The Rachels met each other when they were 5 and 6 years old, and they met Lizzy Seitel — who would come to be known as one of the Rachels despite her name — in middle school.
They all lived in the D.C. area, and one weekend they took part in a retreat with Cheder, a progressive Jewish community in the area. In Seitel’s recollection, they ...Read more
Asking Eric: Sexism mars networking opportunities
Dear Eric: I'm a freelance contractor, and a few years ago, I joined my local chamber of commerce and other networking groups to connect with potential clients. I was excited at first, but now I’m not sure what to do.
The chamber of commerce is mostly older men, and I'm a woman in my 30s. In these settings, the men tend to talk down to me or ...Read more
Long-Distance Dad Wants To Better Relationship With Kids
DEAR HARRIETTE: I became a dad at a young age. I had my first daughter at 18 and my second when I was 22. When their mom and I broke up, the three of them moved out of state, so I've been a long-distance parent to my daughters for about six years now. I have them on holidays and summer break, but because of the distance, I often feel nervous or ...Read more
Musicians' Daytime Dress Code
DEAR MISS MANNERS: What degree of formality is proper for a musician at an afternoon concert?
As a performer of a certain age, I have seen everything from tailored dresses to gowns glittering with beads and spangles -- and for men, anything from the most casual outfits to formal wear. Length of skirt no longer seems to matter, as the skimpiest ...Read more
Dear Annie: Growing Impatient With Friend's Ingratitude
Dear Annie: I am struggling with what to do about one of my very best friends who is basically family to me at this point. Throughout our friendship, I have noticed that she does not say "thank you" very often. This includes when a gift is given to her or even when a customer purchases something in person from her small business.
When I have ...Read more
Husband's Social Media Seems To Serve One Purpose
DEAR ABBY: I saw my husband's Instagram account, and he's following only women who show their bodies provocatively. Is that emotional cheating, or is it just lust? Also, is that grounds for divorce? His looking at and lusting after women online hurts my feelings. -- IMAGE PROBLEM IN ALABAMA
DEAR IMAGE PROBLEM: What you have described is lust. ...Read more
Asking Eric: Wife wants out of marriage, but husband is sick
Dear Eric: I’ve been with my husband for 25 years. Twenty of those years I spent being a mother and a grandmother and a full-time employee. I had a nervous breakdown after my second child passed away from illness and I wanted to move away, but not with my husband. He insisted on coming. But ultimately, I did not find another position and ended...Read more
Former Overeater Still Buying Too Many Treats
DEAR READERS: For years, I used food as a coping mechanism. Whenever I was sad, stressed or heartbroken, I would overeat. I worked hard to break that habit, and I'm proud to say I have a much healthier relationship with food now. Lately, I've noticed that when I'm feeling low, I end up spending lots of money on clothes, shoes and little "treats"...Read more
Yelling At Strangers Is Rarely The Answer
DEAR MISS MANNERS: Elevators have been in existence, I believe, for more than 150 years, but there does not seem to be a system of accepted manners related to them.
It is true that we no longer dance around in the elevator so as to allow all the women to get out before the men. There is, however, pandemonium on first floors, when people wishing...Read more
Dear Annie: Should I Keep Encouraging My Parents' Divorce?
Dear Annie: I have never been ignorant to the fact that, in my opinion, my parents' marriage sucks. My dad is and has always been controlling and domineering. And my mom just exists and really believes it is her job to just be submissive. (These are people married since the 1950s.)
But the last couple of years, particularly 2020-present, my dad...Read more
Couple's Marriage Is Mired In The Doldrums Of Middle Age
DEAR ABBY: My husband and I have been together 30-plus years. When our love was new, it was all smiles, hand-holding and thrills when we saw each other after a long day at work or school. And, I guess, that's normal.
Now, three kids and three grandkids later, we're edging past our mid-50s and there isn't much left. There are no more smiles and ...Read more
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