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Michael Kosta Explores Courtesy Towing, Philadelphia’s Flop Parking Program | The Daily Show

Humor / Jokes /

City parking is never easy, but Philadelphia’s courtesy towing policy takes inconvenience to a new level. Michael Kosta went to Philly to get the lowdown from Pennsylvania drivers on the pesky parking problem, the bizarre inner workings of the Philadelphia Parking Authority, and the cost of a parking ticket.

Keegan-Michael Key on Secret to Doing an Australian Accent, Comic-Con Disguise & Loving the Lions

Humor / Jokes /

Keegan-Michael talks about being overjoyed that his Detroit Lions won against the LA Rams in their first game of the season, what it’s like being a lifelong Lions fan, their odds of winning the Super Bowl, how he has spent his summer, filming in Australia and learning the accent, going to Comic-Con for new movie Transformers One, trying to ...Read more

Jonathan Pryce Invited the Queen to Watch Him in a Play About a Man Having an Affair with a Goat

Humor / Jokes /

Jonathan Pryce talks about being Emmy-nominated for The Crown and Slow Horses, being a fan of when his work gets praised and his original plan to retire at age 60.

Sometimes You Feel Like a Nut

Humor / Tracy Beckerman /

Every year around this time, I get inundated with emails telling me about the latest fall trends and what I should buy and what I should toss. Having been down this wardrobe rabbit hole before, I didn't want to make a fall fashion faux pas, such as I did last year, when one trendsetting site told me the "it" shoe was a pointed witchy boot that...Read more

Jerry Zezima/Jerry Zezima/TNS

Jerry Zezima: A clothes call

Humor / Humor Columns /

Ever since my wife, Sue, has been out of commission with an injured hand, which required surgery and has prevented her from performing important tasks like keeping me alive, I have had a whole laundry list of things to do.

At the top is — how did you ever guess? — laundry.

For the past 46 years, I have been a basket case when it comes to ...Read more

Water Will Heal Me

Humor / Stephanie Hayes /

I stood inside 7-Eleven on my way to the office, staring dead-eyed at the drink case and reaching for yet another Celsius to patch in the cracks of exhaustion. A disembodied voice emerged from my left temporal lobe, whispering:

Water.

I bought the dumbest bottle of water. It was Icelandic, or Norwegian, or from some other place ...Read more

Save the Meatloaf

Humor / Tracy Beckerman /

"Hey honey, I just found out I can make a meatloaf in the slow cooker," I told my husband.

"No offense," said my husband, "but we don't even really like the meatloaf you make the regular way."

I frowned. I couldn't be mad at him because I knew it was true. I did not have the greatest meatloaf reputation. When it came to making a dish as ...Read more

In the Chaos of Moving, Finding Goodbye

Humor / Stephanie Hayes /

I am moving to a new house a few miles away. Apologies to my neighbors who are finding out by reading this. When you live in the suburbs, I suppose the proper thing to do is stand on the stoop a la Tony Soprano and be belly-forward with personal news, but I'd rather disassociate by lining up hoarded hotel shampoos like a glass menagerie. Also,...Read more

Jerry Zezima/Jerry Zezima/TNS

Jerry Zezima: All in good taste

Humor / Humor Columns /

If it weren’t for my wife, I would have starved to death long ago. If it weren’t for me, we both would have starved — or we would have had to eat out every night for a while — because Sue recently had surgery on her right hand and couldn’t cook.

That left me to be her right-hand man and make dinner without having to call either the ...Read more

Playing Second Banana

Humor / Tracy Beckerman /

It took me many years of schlepping bags of heavy groceries from the market to my house before I realized I was the only one in my neighborhood doing it. Most of the other suburban shoppers had already realized what Domino's Pizza learned years ago: If it can be delivered, deliver it.

Newly wise to the ways of grocery procurement, I ...Read more

Jerry Zezima/Jerry Zezima/TNS

Jerry Zezima: What's up, Doc?

Humor / Humor Columns /

An apple a day may keep the doctor away, but it won’t keep me away from the doctor.

That’s because I have reached an age — the big 7-Oh — where medical appointments have become a major part of my life.

I have been making so many trips to see one doctor or another that I should win an award from the American Medical Association and get ...Read more

Rules for Inviting Me to Game Night

Humor / Stephanie Hayes /

We recently received an invitation to a friend's house for game night.

"Great," I told my husband. "Do we have to play games?"

I am not opposed to all games. I'm not opposed to anyone who plays games, game designers, game salespeople, game collectors. I hereby recognize that games bring pleasure to untold humans in an often dispiriting world...Read more

My Toilet Paper Runneth Over

Humor / Tracy Beckerman /

"Hey honey, why is there a roll of toilet paper in my shoe?" my husband asked.

It was a perfectly reasonable question. People don't normally store rolls of toilet paper in their husband's shoes. But I had a DEFCON-5 toilet paper storage situation. Also, I'm not normal.

The trouble started when I ordered toilet paper online. I had hastily ...Read more

Jerry Zezima/Jerry Zezima/TNS

Jerry Zezima: Not the brightest bulb

Humor / Humor Columns /

How many newspaper columnists does it take to change a light bulb? If the columnist is yours truly, the answer is zero.

That’s why, after proving to be too dim to perform this simple task, I gave up and called Kevin the Electrician.

Kevin had been over recently to help install our new central air-conditioning system.

“It’s 130 degrees ...Read more

A Prayer for a New School Year

Humor / Stephanie Hayes /

New school year, work your magic.

Bring on the perfectly plaited braids and buns topped with bows, the toothy, spitty smiles, the crinkly corners of eyes. Stuff our souls with smushed sandwiches and sloshing squares of purple juice.

Unearth those adorable, dorky chalkboards. Age: 6. Grade: 1. Favorite food: Noodles. Cupcakes. Goldfish. When ...Read more

Knuckling Under

Humor / Tracy Beckerman /

"Ow!" I said as I went to lift the pan off the stovetop.

"What's 'ow'?" asked my husband, glancing over from the kitchen counter where he was working.

"I hurt my hand yesterday," I said, massaging the area of my hand where my first and second finger met. "I think I sprained a knuckle."

He gave me that look.

"I don't think that's possible,"...Read more

Jerry Zezima/Jerry Zezima/TNS

Jerry Zezima: Jurassic grandpa

Humor / Humor Columns /

My 7-year-old grandson wants to be a paleontologist when he grows up. I, his 70-year-old grandfather, have given him a head start because, let’s face it, I’m a fossil.

And I know a lot about prehistoric life. That’s why I should be a tour guide at my grandson’s favorite place, the Museum of Natural History, which he likes to call the ...Read more

Why Tim Walz Is a Florida Man

Humor / Stephanie Hayes /

As a mere regular person, I don't know how political vetting works. I picture an episode of "Veep." Lots of blazers whirring by, young assistants decoding Gen Z memes, haggard operatives unearthing photos of potential candidates with appendages in light sockets. It was one time! In college!

When laboring over a presidential running mate, did ...Read more

Dishin' With the Dog

Humor / Tracy Beckerman /

No matter what I make for dinner, cleanup in our house is a pretty speedy affair because we have three dishwashers. First, there is the electronic one, which does a pretty good job, assuming you prewash the dishes before you run them through the dishwasher. Then there's dishwasher No. 2 -- my husband. He's generally responsible for the ...Read more

Why the Olympics Are the Perfect Distraction

Humor / Stephanie Hayes /

The word "dissociation" gets bandied about in these chaotic times, usually in context of watching forced proximity dating shows or capybara videos. This type of mental clocking out is passable but ultimately unfulfilling. It's numbing at best, doing little to stoke the champion fires within.

The Olympics, though. The Olympics have dropped ...Read more

 

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