You may have heard of the “burnt toast theory.” If you haven’t yet (or need a quick refresher), the idea is this: If you burned your toast while making breakfast, you need to spend another five or 10 minutes making a new piece. That extra time might be annoying and cause you to run late, but it may actually be saving you from something horrible or lining you up with something important.

The burnt toast theory gained traction online last year when a cabin panel on an airplane was ripped off in midair. Out of every seat on the plane, only seven were empty … including the two next to the gaping hole in the aircraft. Some theorized the people who were assigned to be sitting there may have missed their flight — an annoyance for sure, but it could have actually saved their lives.

Even if you’re not avoiding something catastrophic like a car crash, these small hassles could be putting you in the right place at the right time. Say your “burnt toast” — which could, of course, be anything from a flat tire to spilled coffee — has you running late to a work meeting, but the person you meet in the elevator on the way to your office is someone who will have a big impact on the meeting. Your elevator small talk could result in something major.

To really sum it up: Instead of getting flustered by minor inconveniences, you can look at them as possible blessings in disguise.

While this is a great attitude to have in life in general that will keep you from sweating the small stuff, the burnt toast theory can also be applied to online dating.

Say you’ve been ghosted by someone who you were talking to and thought there was potential with. Instead of worrying about “What did I do wrong?” or “How do I get them to respond to me?” the burnt toast theory gives you another perspective: “Maybe this person ghosting me is allowing me to better explore another connection.”

Another scenario: You have a first date and everything goes wrong — the bartender is rude, you spill wine on your lap, and you end up waiting an hour for your table to be ready. Instead of looking at the situation as a total disaster, you could think instead, “Now I know how this person reacts when things don’t always go the right way.” And hopefully, they reacted well so you can look forward to a smoother second date. If not, you may have been saved from spending time pursuing a relationship with someone who can’t control their emotions.

The burnt toast theory isn’t really a theory at all — it’s a mindset shift. There will always be setbacks in life, and all we can really control is our reactions. Having the attitude that things will unfold as they’re meant to be, no matter how irritating or inconvenient it is in the moment, can save you a lot of frustration, especially in the unpredictable world of dating where very few things are in your total control.

So the next time you burn your toast, can’t find your keys, forget your lunch at home, or realize you need to find a bathroom ASAP because your shirt is on backward, think of how that disruption in your day could have been so much worse. And if your tardiness leads you to stand on the Starbucks line behind a cute fellow customer, maybe you’ll find all things happen for a reason.

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