Life Advice
/Health
/ArcaMax
Protecting What's Private
Dear Annie: My husband and I have a large family, and earlier this year we welcomed our newest baby, "Izzy." The pregnancy went smoothly, and everyone thought she was healthy until about half a week after coming home, when she began showing concerning symptoms. We've been working closely with her doctor ever since and recently learned she has ...Read more
Asking Eric: Freeloading friend hasn’t paid for lunch in a decade
Dear Eric: I have a friend who has moved several states away but comes back to visit at least once a year. She has many friends in this area, and I know she is busy trying to fit us all into her schedule. When she and I meet for lunch at a local higher end restaurant, we have a couple of drinks, and she always orders steak. We’ve been doing ...Read more
Feeling Unsafe in Your Own Space
Dear Annie: A set of neighbors used to live across the street from me. When they did, I thought they were really nice, but I found out later -- too late -- that they were meth addicts who stole anything that wasn't nailed down, including from me. I discovered they would watch when I'd leave and go into my house. I'm 74 and from the era when we...Read more
'Marry Lisa' billboard campaign attracts scores of potential suitors to woman seeking love
SAN JOSE, Calif. -- After years of always being the perpetual bridesmaid, Lisa Catalano of San Mateo, California, laid down her soft-pink bouquet, hung up her strappy blue satin Maid of Honor dress and drafted a text to her friends:
“I’m officially announcing my retirement from being a bridesmaid,” she wrote. “The next wedding I’m ...Read more
Asking Eric: Daughter moves back in with parents and brings a mess with her
Dear Eric: I’m 81 years old and my husband is 84. We were comfortably retired until our 44-year-old daughter and 9-year-old granddaughter moved in with us a few weeks ago. Our daughter was evicted from her condo because her ex-husband stopped paying. (I don’t blame him.)
She’s a college graduate and hasn’t worked at a job in her field ...Read more
Learning to Say 'I've Got This' at Work, and 'No, Thank You' at Home
Dear Annie: I recently started a new job at a software company, and for the most part, I really like it. The work is interesting, my co-workers are friendly, and the company culture is a good fit for me. The only issue is my manager. She has a habit of micromanaging just about everything I do. She insists on reviewing emails before I send them...Read more
Ask Anna: Screening out phone time on date night
Dear Anna,
I'm in a polyamorous relationship with my girlfriend of two years, and we see each other once a week due to other partners and our demanding work schedules. I completely understand that she's often exhausted when we finally get together, and I'm fine with low-key dates like ordering takeout and watching TV. The problem is that even ...Read more
Single File: Defensiveness -- Fortress Thinking (Part 1)
ATTENTION "SINGLE FILE(R)" EDITORS: THE FOLLOWING COLUMN WAS PREVIOUSLY RELEASED IN 2017. THANK YOU. - CREATORS
If you've been with me for a while now, you've probably gotten the message that most of the rough spots in single life are not lethal in themselves but can stir up major mischief when they get out of hand.
The same rule applies to ...Read more
Ask Dating Coach Erika: Should I have a backup plan?
This week, we have three very relatable dating questions:
Question: I really like Gerry and don’t feel like sifting through other profiles. But is that wise? Should I still go through the motions as backup options until my three-month Match subscription ends, in case Gerry and I fizzle? I know he likes me.
-- Jane, 62, Orlando, Florida
...Read more
Asking Eric: Friend in a different country ambivalent about American political strife
Dear Eric: My bestie is a modern-day pen pal. That is to say I know him on only social
media. But we've had so many fine chats over the last decade, until recently.
He lives in another country, where personal freedom is strongly protected. I recently told him how bad things are here in the US – not how bad they could be, but how bad they are...Read more
When You've Always Been There for Family -- and They're No Longer There for You
Dear Annie: I am an 85-year-old widow living alone. I have three children, five grandchildren and five great-grandchildren. In years past, when I was still driving, I would visit regularly and made it a point to stay involved. I helped pay for camps, lessons, pageants, tutors and even household expenses. I have always tried to be generous with...Read more
Asking Eric: Wife feels neglected by husband caring for ailing father
Dear Eric: My husband and I have been married almost five years, and it has been wonderful. Six months ago, we had a major disruption when my 83-year-old father-in-law was diagnosed with dementia. He was admitted to hospice last week. We have no one to help with him, except for a sitter that is draining his wallet.
My husband and I have an 11-...Read more
Fractured Bonds
Dear Annie: My husband and I recently went on an eight-day cruise to Iceland with two close friends. We have been friends for more than 40 years and have traveled together many times. Two days before we were to leave, I tested positive for Covid. I went to urgent care, and the doctor told me I could still go on the trip. I began Paxlovid and ...Read more
Asking Eric: After paternity test, father struggles with relationship to children
Dear Eric: The short version is I caught my ex-wife in bed with someone when I was 26 years old. At the time I had 2-, 4-, and 6-year-old children. Two boys and one girl. I remarried at 30 years old and am now 64. I just found out through DNA testing that the three kids are not my children. They all have different dads. My ex is remarried and ...Read more
Fault-Finding Friends
Dear Annie: My spouse and I have longtime friends who visit from out of town several times a year. We've kept up this tradition for many years, and in return we also visit them. At first, these visits were enjoyable, but lately they've become a source of stress.
It began with small comments -- they said the guest bed wasn't comfortable and ...Read more
Millennial Life: Life in the Whelm
There's a word we should live again. I would like to be whelmed and not overwhelmed. Not underwhelmed and just whelmed. It's the state of being fully present in the flood of life, not drowning in it but not standing on dry land either.
That's where I want to live most days, especially on days with one-on-one meetings, but from flow to overflow ...Read more
Asking Eric: Fishy childcare solution frustrates friend
Dear Eric: I work in a small aquarium with a close friend of mine named Tom. Because my wife is in the late stages of pregnancy, I often take my youngest to the aquarium and leave her by the touch tanks while I work. This has caused some disputes between Tom and me, as he worries about leaving her unattended around the fish.
Both of my children...Read more
Words for the Fall
Dear Readers: Below are some of my favorite quotes about fall and the changing of seasons. I hope you enjoy their words as much as I do.
Ralph Waldo Emerson reminded us, "Each moment of the year has its own beauty." He also believed, "Nature always wears the colors of the spirit."
Henry David Thoreau urged us, "Live in each season as it ...Read more
Asking Eric: After partner’s death, man is consumed by guilt
Dear Eric: I am a mid-70s, single gay man with no close family ties. I never imagined that anyone could or would want to love me. Even when they were right there, showing me how much they cared.
I did three months of therapy via zoom. It was helpful, but I was not able to admit to that therapist the emotional neglect that I had subjected my ...Read more
When Is It Time to Rethink Old Friendships?
Dear Annie: I wonder if you could shed some light on something that's been bothering me.
I have five girlfriends I've been close with for many years. I keep their secrets, I don't talk behind their backs, and I've always treated them with respect. As we've gotten older and more serious about our lives, we each began moving out on our own, ...Read more
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