Life Advice
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Ask Dating Coach Erika: 'How do I ask ____?'
So many questions I get, as a dating coach, follow the format of, “How do I ask ____?” That blank might be “for more time together,” “for a date this Friday,” “for a few texts between dates,” “what they’re looking for in the future.” And in all of these cases, I would simple cross off the “how do I ask,” and you’re ...Read more

Asking Eric: Longtime friend always has to have upper hand in conversation
Dear Eric: I recently had lunch with an old friend. We have known each other for more than 50 years and get together three or four times a year to catch up. On my way home, I realized that every time I talked about something, either my family or something I had done, my friend couldn't wait to "best" me with her story. She didn't ask one ...Read more
Letting Go to Protect Myself
Dear Worn Out: My three brothers and I are all senior citizens, and throughout our lives we have endured a very difficult relationship with our mother. From the time we were children, she was physically and emotionally abusive. She controlled us, manipulated us, lied to us and often gaslighted us.
Now that we are adults with families of our ...Read more

Asking Eric: New husband wants to go on vacation without his wife
Dear Eric: I’m a newly married 69-year-old woman who was previously a widow after 43 years of marriage. My present husband and I have been married for a little over a year. We dated in high school and coincidentally ended up together.
Prior to getting married, my husband didn’t ever mention he wanted to go on an African Safari with his ...Read more
Protecting My Husband From Exclusion
Dear Annie: When my husband and I first got married, he made it clear that his mother would always be welcome to visit whenever she wanted since she lives far away. Over the years, she has come three or four times annually, often staying for a week at a time. She is generally helpful around the house, and we sometimes spend holidays with her, ...Read more

Asking Eric: Neighborhood gardener doesn’t want to chat about garden
Dear Eric: First, let me admit I am not very social. I genuinely do not like to stand around chit-chatting, especially when I’m in the process of working on something.
I moved into a new neighborhood two years ago. I have spent that time working on re-doing the landscaping, both front and back yards – new flower beds, took out the lawns, ...Read more
Private Family Time Isn't Selfish
Dear Annie: My husband works in the family business alongside his father, his brother-in-law, and sometimes his brother and cousin. He is a generous, hardworking man who would give the shirt off his back for his family. Unfortunately, they seem to take advantage of that generosity.
Despite the pressures of the business, we make it a priority ...Read more
Millennial Life: When Empathy Feels Impossible
There is always a moment after tragedy when the public is told to summon empathy, usually for the person who caused the tragedy. But this week the ask for empathy was for someone who many felt didn't deserve it and who wouldn't have offered in return. Many people bristled, asking why they should care about someone who actively promoted damage in...Read more

Asking Eric: Widowed mother-in-law wants to bring new beau for holidays
Dear Eric: My mother-in-law, Dana, 79, was married for 51 years before her husband passed six years ago.
She still visits us frequently. When she does, she stays at either our house or one of my husband’s sister's homes.
Within the last six months, my MIL began dating another senior gentleman, Peter. Apparently, Dana and Peter knew each ...Read more
10 Years Later, the Hurt Remains
Dear Annie: I have been part of the same group of friends for more than 30 years. About a decade ago, when I got married, I asked one of them, someone I considered like a sister, to be my maid of honor. She and I had always been close. She was there when my daughter was born, we grew up side by side, and I thought of her as one of my very best...Read more

Asking Eric: Friend’s complex needs strain friendship
Dear Eric: "Bella" and I met more than 35 years ago as volunteers. We maintained a friendship despite totally different life paths: she had a string of relationships that never went very far; I married, became a stepmom, then had a baby.
She wasn't able to maintain a career due to increasing mental health issues that also affected her physical ...Read more
Always on the Gift List, Not the Guest List
Dear Annie: I was invited to, and attended, both an engagement party and a bridal shower. I spent a bit of money on gifts for both. I wasn't invited to the wedding, which hurt me somewhat, but I understood the couple was trying to keep it small.
Now, two years later, I've been invited to the baby shower. While I'm happy for this couple, I can...Read more

Asking Eric: Neighbors’ yard feature ruins view
Dear Eric: Nine years ago, we moved into our dream retirement home. We’ve been incredibly happy with our choice except for one thing. Our next-door neighbors moved in about a year after we did. The previous owners of their home had installed a large homemade sandbox with railroad ties and a plywood covering. We never saw their kids play in it ...Read more
Stepdad Stepping on My Toes
Dear Annie: My mom remarried last year, and her new husband, "Ken," has made himself very at home -- too at home, if you ask me. I'm 26 and still live with my mom while saving up to buy a condo. We've always had a good rhythm: we cook together, watch movies, take walks. But ever since Ken moved in, everything's changed.
He rearranged the ...Read more

Ask Anna: What to do when you've been dating for months but aren't 'official'
Dear Anna,
I'm a 28-year-old woman who's been seeing this amazing guy (31) for eight months now. We spend most weekends together, text daily and I've met some of his friends, but we've never actually had "the talk" about what we are. I’m pretty sure he's not seeing anyone else because we're together so much, and I'm pretty sure he knows I'm ...Read more

Asking Eric: Perfect’ husband refuses intimacy
Dear Eric: Twenty years ago, I married a man who took care of me and my kids. He tells me he loves me, brings me flowers and supports me.
The problem is, he doesn't want to be physical with me, and it is tearing me apart. I am not asking to go to the moon; I am simply asking for some physical TLC. I have asked, cried, you name it. I don't want ...Read more
Boundaries Before the Wedding
Dear Annie: My fiance, "Mark," and I are getting married in six months, and there's one issue I can't shake. His best friend, "Tyler," makes me uncomfortable. Tyler has a history of cheating, drinking too much, and making offhand comments that cross the line -- especially toward women. At Mark's bachelor party planning dinner, Tyler joked that...Read more
Single File: The Other Woman Speaks
DEAR SUSAN: This is my response to your recent column about single women dating married men. You tell us that when the man's wife learns of the affair and gives her consent, single women seem to lose all interest in continuing it. Well, Susan, I disagree mightily.
In the past, I happened to be the other woman, and I desperately wanted him to ...Read more

Ask Dating Coach Erika: 'When is the best time for the 'what are we?' question?'
We have a selection of questions today, ranging from “feminine energy” to the sometimes dreaded “What are we?” conversation. I’m here to shed some light on, and hopefully, demystify a few common dating questions.
Q: What does it mean to be in your feminine energy?
A: I don't use language like this, so I’m not 100% sure what the ...Read more

Asking Eric: Lifelong ‘loner’ struggles to make connections post-retirement
Dear Eric: I retired a couple of years ago. I, like many people, I think, have realized that most of my friends and even acquaintances were work-related. My family doesn’t live close. I’ve always been a loner, so this doesn’t normally even bother me. I recently had a health issue come up where I needed a “responsible adult” to drive ...Read more