Life Advice
/Health
/ArcaMax
When Love and Marriage Don't Align
Dear Annie: I've been dating a wonderful man for three years. He's everything I could want in a partner, and I'm very happy with him. He came out of a long-term marriage that ended in divorce, while I lost my spouse to cancer shortly before we met. For the first year, we kept things casual, but we've been serious about a long-term relationship...Read more
Asking Eric: Sister-in-law didn’t include other family in holiday event
Dear Eric: My family and I will be traveling from California to the UK to visit my husband’s parents with our two kids. During our visit, my husband’s brother, his partner, and their young daughter, will be joining us from Sweden for part of the stay.
We recently found out that my husband’s brother’s partner booked tickets for an event ...Read more
Navigating Marriage and Mental Health Together
Dear Annie: I live with bipolar disorder, which I was first diagnosed with in the early 1990s. My husband and I got together after my diagnosis, and he has been my biggest support through everything -- navigating different providers, raising my children (not his) who also had their challenges and helping me stay stable.
There have been tough ...Read more
Asking Eric: Husband’s excessive manners leave wife feeling left behind
Dear Eric: I have an ongoing disagreement with my very polite and well-mannered husband. When we enter a venue together (restaurant, store, etc.), he opens the door/elevator door to let me through and then holds the door open so that at least two or three people and sometimes large groups of people, can walk in ahead of him.
He then follows ...Read more
Too Young To Hurt?
Dear Annie: I have struggled with several chronic health issues for over a decade, which often leave me fatigued, in pain or struggling with my memory. Yet because of my age (early 20s), I often get laughed off or dismissed if I bring these up.
It doesn't come from my family, friends or close co-workers, thankfully. They are all compassionate...Read more
Asking Eric: Billionaire brother won’t offer help to struggling sister
Dear Eric: I am a 55-year-old female who has a disabled daughter. The father is long gone from the picture. I make a middle income living and could live comfortably if it were not for my disabled daughter. Things go well for a while and then a crisis occurs, and she is back in the hospital accruing large medical bills.
I have one brother, and ...Read more
When Canvassers Come Knocking
Dear Annie: I've been a big fan of your column for years, but I felt that some useful context was missing from a recent response about how to deal with people knocking on doors.
Having worked extensively in political outreach, I understand how frustrating unsolicited visits can be. However, canvassing for elections or other causes is hard ...Read more
Asking Eric: Partner’s mother confesses uncomfortable paternity secret
Dear Eric: I live with my partner of two years and his family (mother, younger siblings and mother's boyfriend).
Yesterday, his mother confided in me that the abusive and domineering man my partner knows as his semi-estranged father, is not his biological father. My partner is not aware of this. I'm also not sure if any of his family knows. The...Read more
Is Love Enough When Trust Feels Lost?
Dear Annie: I've been with my spouse for nine years. Lately, I feel he's so distant, and I can't help but be bothered by it. About a year ago, everything changed. He started hiding his phone, being secretive with his friends, had multiple social media accounts, etc.
I've had a gut feeling for a while, and when I talked to him about it, he ...Read more
Asking Eric: Craft hobbyist feels bad about throwing away finished creations
Dear Eric: I'm a craft hobbyist. I enjoy embroidery, painting by numbers, building papercraft models, etc. My joy is really in the process of creating these, but I find our walls and shelves overflowing with the finished products. I suppose I'm proud of them, but I'm beginning to avoid doing these hobbies because we're running out of space to ...Read more
Drawing the Line With an Ex
Dear Annie: My wife of 19 years still to this day keeps in contact with her ex-boyfriend from high school.
They dated all through high school, and after they broke up, he ran her through the mud by spreading rumors about her to all her friends and then wrote a long letter to her stating how she was a slut.
Fast-forward many years, when we ...Read more
Ask Anna: From situationships to dating apps -- a guide to starting fresh
Dear Anna,
My partner and I broke up in late April but we had a situationship over the summer. I’m a sophomore in college and I’m excited to get back out there. There’s one problem, I have no clue what I’m doing. I’ve only recently started to learn about sexual guilt and shame because I never focused too much on it while in my ...Read more
Asking Eric: Sister claims sister-in-law ‘crashed’ nephew’s wedding
Dear Eric: I’m 65 and have always had a cordial but not loving relationship with my 64-year-old sister as our parents never encouraged their children to be loving to one another.
Last month, my nephew was married in a civil ceremony at my sister’s Midwest home due to an immigration requirement relating to his now-wife. Because we received ...Read more
Senioritis Struggles: Fed Up and Counting Down
Dear Annie: I'm a 17-year-old girl, and I will be turning 18 next month. I'm a senior in high school, and my grades are excellent! I've applied to all of my colleges, and now I'm waiting for the decisions, which I will find out very soon. I live in Arizona, and the schools are in New York, D.C. and North Carolina (with my first choice being in...Read more
Single File: Reentry (Part 2)
Around the same time the newly singled realize their bed-hopping adventures actually make them lonelier, a growing awareness of themselves as a distinct entity takes hold. Standing on one's own, recognized as a person in one's own right, starts to feel good. Really good. The loneliness is still there, of course, felt most in the early-morning ...Read more
How to attract quality in your dating profile
“How can I write in my online dating profile to attract the type of person I’m looking for?”
This is a question I get, in some form or another, from clients almost daily. In their mind, they have a target partner. Let’s say this “target” is a man in his 60s, well-educated, with grown children, and lives in Philadelphia. Or maybe ...Read more
Asking Eric: Best friend only wants to hang out with her children
Dear Eric: How do you stay friends with someone who puts zero interest in maintaining an adult friendship?
My best friend from high school (of more than 20 years), had kids a few years ago. The kids are young but out of the baby stage. My friend constantly asks to hang out but never offers anything that is not totally kid-focused. Think story ...Read more
Supporting Widows and Building Connections
Dear Readers: So many of you wrote about the widow columns that I printed recently, and made some interesting points, so I wanted to share a few of these letters with everyone.
Dear Annie: Oh, wow! I just saw this in our paper and pointed it out to my wife. She didn't believe it at first, and I was just as surprised. Widows being shunned by ...Read more
Asking Eric: Mother repeatedly says she loves grandchild more than her kids
Dear Eric: My brother and his wife just had their first child, and the first grandchild on both sides of the family. I am so excited to be an aunt, and love the baby. So does my mom, however she keeps saying something to my brother and I that we both are getting tired of.
She has said on multiple occasions: I love the baby more than you two (my...Read more
Picking Up the Pieces After a Betrayal
Dear Annie: My husband and I have been married for 14 years. He is 9 years younger than I am, and when we got married, we each brought three children into our blended family. For the past two years, I was the primary caregiver for my mother after she had a stroke. Even before that, I spent a significant amount of my time caring for my elderly ...Read more