Life Advice
/Health
/ArcaMax
Rebuilding Bridge With Brother
Dear Annie: Three years ago, my older brother received a $60,000 settlement, and I believe it changed his perspective on family and our relationship. One day, he offered to loan me $5,000 to either repair my car or put a deposit on a new one. He told me to wait two days, and then he would call me to meet him at the bank.
Up until that point, ...Read more
Wife Of Alcoholic Is Ready To Throw In The Towel
DEAR ABBY: I have been married for 27 years. Most of them have been miserable. My husband has been a functioning alcoholic for more than 40 years. I consider his behavior emotionally abusive. I hate my home. My kids (22, 19 and 17) don't want me to leave him. I live in my bedroom all day by myself except to go to work. He now says he wants to ...Read more

Asking Eric: Boyfriend keeps bringing up past relationships
Dear Eric: We’re two seniors in our late 70s, dating two years. He divorced after a 50-year marriage – she initiated it. I had two short marriages early on; one child. I have had several short relationships and one seven-year relationship, though not living together. The man I’m dating is old-fashioned and unable to stop questioning me and...Read more
Girlfriend's Irresponsibility Irritates Partner
DEAR HARRIETTE: I'm at a crossroads with my girlfriend. In our house, we share many of our bills. I take care of things like rent and the car payment for our shared vehicle, and she is supposed to take care of utilities. She has had a history of being a bit reckless with her spending, and I thought that with some of the bills in her name, it ...Read more
Is There A Nice Way To Say 'i Already Knew That'?
DEAR MISS MANNERS: Sometimes people enthusiastically tell me something they think I don't know, particularly about my areas of expertise. Saying "I already knew that" sounds condescending. Pretending I didn't know, and saying something like "That's interesting," seems passive-aggressive.
I have been accused of competing in the first case and ...Read more
Finding Joy in Work: Passion or Perspective?
Dear Annie: It saddens me to see so many people who don't enjoy their jobs. I was fortunate; I spent 42 years as a teacher, and while my first year in a middle school was the toughest, the rest of my career was incredibly fulfilling. I truly loved what I did.
Beyond the classroom, I also coached two or three sports for most of my career, only...Read more
Frustrated Spouse Has Made Healthy Changes Alone
DEAR ABBY: My wife and I went for our annual checkups seven months ago. We were both overweight and told by our respective doctors that we needed to make some lifestyle changes to improve our health. Since that time, I have made the needed changes. As a result, I have lost 40 pounds, and all of my vitals are in a healthy range.
My wife has not ...Read more
Millennial Life: Expect the World To Change -- You Don't Own It
As millennials, we were told not to have kids until we were financially responsible. The world had to be just right. Our careers should be stable. Our savings, sufficient. Our ducks? In a row. Yet, the same generation that was warned about the unpredictability of parenthood was also sold on the idea that homeownership was the key to stability. ...Read more

Asking Eric: Fairytale engagement sours friendship
Dear Eric: My friend Glenda recently got engaged to a man she's only known for nine months. I'm certain she would have married him after much less because he fits in with what an ideal or "fairytale" life looks like. She is very much a "look at me" person on social media, and having a partner after being single for so long is a real moment for ...Read more
Is Girlfriend's Snoozing a Wake-Up Call for Our Relationship?
Dear Annie: I've been with my girlfriend for 15 years. The first few years were wonderful -- no complaints. We worked together and spent a lot of time together, and everything felt great.
Then, out of nowhere, she started falling asleep -- bam! -- nodding off in social situations, especially when we were out with my parents or their friends. ...Read more
Daughter's Gravestone Damaged By Relative's Decoration
DEAR ABBY: We lost our 16-year-old daughter two years ago to leukemia. It's been a difficult two years. I am writing to ask if there are rules of etiquette for visiting a loved one at the cemetery? We go regularly. I decorate the area in front of her stone with holiday or seasonally appropriate decorations. Other family members and friends visit...Read more

Asking Eric: Niece’s visit tests generosity
Dear Eric: My niece contacted me and said she was coming to a college reunion near me. She wondered if she and her family could stay at my home during the weekend. I was happy to have them, and they had a good time. My wife and I cooked several meals for them and loaned them a car. Their final evening, we all went out to dinner (six of them ...Read more
Teen Daughter Acting Up After Breakup
DEAR HARRIETTE: I think my daughter might be suffering from a broken heart. I'm speculating, but a few weeks ago, she and her boyfriend broke up; he's a rising star on his high school football team, and you know how that goes. Anyway, she's been rude and moody, and she actually ended up pushing her mom during a heated argument. Unfortunately, I ...Read more
I Really Can't Talk Right Now, Bob
DEAR MISS MANNERS: I was in my office when I got an urge to go to the bathroom. I hate to do this at work, because I work in a converted townhouse where the bathrooms are just one toilet and one sink, like in a house. But I had no choice.
I was sitting in there when I heard my boss outside the door: "Kaitlin, are you in there?"
"Yes. Why do ...Read more
Living in Fear of My Neighbor
Dear Annie: I moved into my bungalow six months ago. My new neighbor, we'll call him "Jeremy," who I share a very thin party wall with, seemed friendly at first -- in fact, overly so. He called first thing every morning -- up to eight times a day -- mainly to see if I was going out that day so he could pester me to bring things back for him, ...Read more
Relatives' Penchant For Tall Tales Is Driving Sibling Away
DEAR ABBY: I find myself increasingly less patient with my oldest brother and older sister. They lie incessantly about things they have accomplished, always making themselves out to be the best. It frustrates me to hear them say things that are not true.
For example, while dining in a restaurant, my brother told a group of guys that he was a ...Read more

Asking Eric: When coffee date brings a coffee date
Dear Eric: Recently I ran into a friend who invited me for coffee with another friend. I don't care for the other friend because he is misogynistic and opinionated. I didn't explain any of this and politely declined the offer, but I felt no explanation was required.
If this comes up again, do I owe this person reasons why I don't enjoy the ...Read more
Friend Loses Touch While Consumed By Grief
DEAR HARRIETTE: One of my good friends has retreated completely. Last year her best friend passed away, and I think that loss is taking a major toll on her. At first, she was holding up all right, but now she doesn't really respond to me or any other friends. I don't think she's active physically or socially, aside from work. I know grief can be...Read more
Resisting The Urge To Multitask On The Phone
DEAR MISS MANNERS: I have a few old friends scattered around the country who will only talk on the phone if they're actively doing something else. This leads to a variety of acoustic challenges: wind or traffic noise, transactions with shopkeepers, dishes banging, etc.
One of my oldest friends even says, when I call, "Wait, I'll put on my ...Read more
Suspecting My Daughter of Stealing
Dear Annie: I have noticed things missing in my house. After visiting my daughter's house, I have noticed some of these things at her house. For example, a bracelet that I had been looking for, for months, as well as a coffee mug and a small decorative vase.
How should I go about this? Her boyfriend, who I never trusted, lives with her. I ...Read more