Life Advice
/Health
/ArcaMax
Reluctant Chef Struggles To Find Recipes
DEAR HARRIETTE: When I was single, I never learned how to cook; my mom always took care of that for us. However, after getting married, I've been wanting to learn how to cook more than just fried foods and to try more varied meals. The problem is that I always feel intimidated by complicated recipes. I end up sticking to the same meals every ...Read more
'this Customer' Preferable To 'that Guy Over There'
DEAR MISS MANNERS: I am 21 years old, and I have worked in assorted venues of customer service since I was 17. I am currently employed at a bank, and frequently a customer will ask a question to which I do not know the answer.
This requires me to leave the service area and ask my supervisor. Is it proper to say to my supervisor, "This lady (or ...Read more
Widow Struggles With Daughter's Distant Behavior
Dear Annie: I have three children, a son and two daughters. I am a widow, and my family has always been close and caring. My son lives in the same city as I do. He's very caring and checks on me every day.
My daughters live out of town, about two hours away. My oldest daughter and her husband come about once a month. They are very attentive. ...Read more
Friend's Romance Sits On A Foundation Of Bad Choices
DEAR ABBY: I think the world of "Celia," my best friend of 25 years. She has been there for me through many major ups and downs in my life. She is beautiful inside and out, well-educated and works hard.
Celia has been in a five-year relationship with an old friend I'll call "Vince." I think he is a nice guy, but not for her. He has no desire to...Read more
Single File: Why Not Marry?
DEAR SUSAN: My mother and I have talked over the same question you asked today. And here's what I've come up with:
No. 1: MARRIAGE IS HARD TO GET OUT OF. I grew up thinking my father paid so little attention to my mother she might as well be single. And yet she was stuck -- unhappy, neglected, unwilling to divorce on moral grounds, maybe even ...Read more
Asking Eric: Grandmother shut out of Christmas celebrations
Dear Eric: When my only son and his wife got married and had kids, I was informed that Christmas Day would just be for them to celebrate. I said OK.
For decades, I have given my son and his family (wife and two kids) really nice gifts for Christmas. We are talking about hundreds of dollars. For a while, I would receive a small gift, such as a ...Read more
Harriette Reflects On The Christmas Season
DEAR READERS: Merry Christmas! It's amazing that we are already at this time of year. For those who observe Christmas as a religious holiday, I wish you the peace and hopefulness that this day stands for. For the many who have claimed Christmas as their time to embrace family just a little tighter regardless of their religion, blessings to you, ...Read more
Manners Should Come Before Efficiency
DEAR MISS MANNERS: I was watching a soap opera and one of the characters, a very proper lady, answered her granddaughter's question with food in her mouth. She did tuck the food into her cheek, and kept her mouth as closed as possible.
I actually find that acceptable -- more so than making her granddaughter wait for a response while she chewed ...Read more
Wishing a Merry Christmas to All
Dear Readers: Wishing you all a very Merry Christmas. Hope you enjoy these poems for the holidays.
"Christmas in the Heart" by Paul Laurence Dunbar
"The snow lies deep upon the ground, / And winter's brightness all around / Decks bravely out the forest sere, / With jewels of the brave old year. / The coasting crowd upon the hill / With some ...Read more
Spouse Would Prefer In-Laws To Stay In A Hotel
DEAR ABBY: My spouse and I (both women) have been together for 25 years. For half of them, we lived in the Middle East. We met while working as health care expatriates. My spouse is from South Africa and was raised very differently than I was.
When we finally returned to the U.S., we bought a house in a southern state where two of my brothers ...Read more
Who invited your ex on this date?
I received this text from a client I started working with recently: “I really want to solve this issue of people mentioning their exes! Or maybe that’s just normal if you’re divorced? Is it me? Or does that happen to other clients on every single first date? It’s so uncomfortable!”
And then this week, after a different client went on ...Read more
Asking Eric: After family deaths, mother gets meaner and spreads lies
Dear Eric: My father passed from cancer in 2020. He and my mother were married for 53 years. One year later, my only sibling died suddenly from a massive heart attack. So, it's just my mother and I left. We have never had a good relationship. Very tense, lots of jealousy (her, not me).
Both my parents were very close to my children growing up. ...Read more
Plant Owner Can't Keep Them Alive Despite Best Efforts
DEAR HARRIETTE: I recently developed a love for having plants around my home because they add such a refreshing vibe, but I struggle to keep them alive. People remark that I don't have a green thumb and that I should give up on this hobby, but I'm determined to prove them wrong. I've done a lot of research on how to care for plants, yet they ...Read more
You Did Not Hear This From Miss Manners
DEAR MISS MANNERS: I have an older home with just one bathroom. I make sure that all personal products are off the counter when we have guests, but we've still had people snoop in the medicine cabinet and in the cupboard under the sink.
My teenaged nephew once commented loudly about finding laxatives in the medicine cabinet. Another time, he ...Read more
Happy Holidays to All
Dear Readers: Wishing you and all a very happy holiday season. Please enjoy the following poem.
"A Visit from St. Nicholas" by Clement Clarke Moore.
"'Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the house / Not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse; / The stockings were hung by the chimney with care, / In hopes that St. Nicholas soon...Read more
Widow Has No Interest In An Intimate Relationship
DEAR ABBY: Six months ago, I began seeing a man I like very much but don't want to be intimate with. We are in our "young" 70s, and both of us were widowed two years ago after 50-year marriages. We agreed early on that neither of us will remarry.
We are affectionate, and he'll occasionally kiss my cheek, nape of my neck or forehead. We hug. ...Read more
Asking Eric: Sister’s relationship is consuming her life
Dear Eric: My younger sister is in her sophomore year at university (her school is far from home). I’m a couple of years older than her, but we are best friends. She just celebrated her one-year anniversary with her boyfriend (same age as her), who she met in her first week in school.
I love her boyfriend and support their relationship – he...Read more
Family Struggles To Cope After Father's Passing
DEAR HARRIETTE: It's been a month since I lost my dad, and it's been hard for me and especially my mom. He was the provider for our family -- both financially and emotionally -- and he always taught us to strive to be better every day. Now that he's gone, I feel as though a huge part of me is missing, and I'm struggling to process the grief. ...Read more
Relatives Won't Give Teasing A Rest
DEAR MISS MANNERS: Is there a polite way to deal with those relatives who constantly tease you, make fun of you and remind you of the stupid, mean things you did when you were young?
Naturally enough, I avoid these relatives whenever possible. But there are inevitably two or three occasions every year when I am in their presence.
I have tried ...Read more
When to Hold On and When to Let Go
Dear Annie: Seven years ago, I met a guy on a dating site. I'm 13 years older than him, but I look much younger than my age. After we matched, he asked me on a date, and we kissed. From there, we kept texting, flirting and engaging in a lot of suggestive conversations -- but he never asked me out again.
Over the years, we've remained close ...Read more