Life Advice
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Tech Worker Wants To Take A Year Off
DEAR HARRIETTE: I've been working in tech for the past five years, and I've saved up a decent amount of money with the intention of taking a year off to travel. It's something I've dreamed about for a long time. I want to see the world, experience different cultures and give myself space to reflect on what I really want in life. Lately, though, ...Read more
Unsolicited Feedback On Fundraiser Speech
DEAR MISS MANNERS: We attended a charity event for a homeless shelter -- an event we have gone to for several years. This time, there was a guest speaker who was a former client of the shelter.
This gentleman had gone there when he was homeless and fresh out of jail. He spoke for 45 minutes, which I thought was way too long, and he included ...Read more
Parental Panic
Dear Annie: My father has always been a deeply anxious man. If there is nothing to worry about, he invents something. Growing up, this often meant high-stress evenings when my siblings or I were out with friends or running late. I still remember one night when my dad woke my mother in a panic, convinced my brother had been in an accident. She ...Read more
Wife Is Going It Alone Dealing With An Alcoholic
DEAR ABBY: My sister-in-law is her alcoholic husband's enabler. He has health conditions that make walking difficult. He falls down often and can't make it to the bathroom. Being drunk all the time (he consumes a fifth of vodka every two days) also prevents him from getting the surgery he needs.
My SIL buys his liquor for him. She says if she ...Read more

Asking Eric: Former co-worker ghosts decade-long friendship
Dear Eric: We are a group of three female former co-workers who have gathered regularly for 10 years to celebrate birthdays and Christmas. We have taken turns at each other’s homes and always had a nice time eating, laughing and reminiscing together.
This year, one member of our group ghosted the other two of us. She will not respond to ...Read more
Remote Worker Considers Looking For Hybrid Position
DEAR HARRIETTE: I work remotely, and while I've enjoyed the flexibility and freedom it provides, I've started to feel increasingly isolated and unmotivated. At first, it felt like a dream: no commute, more control over my schedule and the comfort of home. Lately, I've noticed that I'm missing the daily interactions, spontaneous conversations and...Read more
Napkin Rings: Not For Guests
DEAR MISS MANNERS: I am planning to invite my daughter's in-laws to a formal dinner. I plan to host it the way my late almost-aristocratic mother would have done 60 years ago: with fine china, starched linens, good silver, flowers, the lot. I am partly (well, mainly) motivated by a few snobbish remarks dropped by my daughter's father-in-law.
...Read more
Funerals and Feeling Forgotten
Dear Annie: I've always prided myself on being a good friend. I'm the one who shows up at weddings, baby showers, birthday parties and even moving day. I donate to friends' fundraisers, send thoughtful messages, and make the effort to call, check in and extend invitations. In short, I've always been there when it mattered.
But three months ...Read more
Daughter's Dependence Finally Reaches Breaking Point
DEAR ABBY: I am 65, single and retired with an almost-40-year-old bipolar child. Although she's compliant with her meds, she also self-medicates and sometimes must be hospitalized due to her mania. She doesn't work and refuses to apply for any aid. I have stopped paying for her needs other than food, shelter and helping financially with her dog....Read more

Asking Eric: Nephew’s ‘save the date’ came after vacation was paid for
Dear Eric: Several months ago, a group of friends and I planned a vacation trip for this coming fall. We pre-paid the hotel costs, all-inclusive fees and paid for round-trip airline tickets. A few weeks ago, I received a "save the date" postcard from my nephew and his fiancée.
The wedding will be held in a state fairly distant from where I ...Read more
Friend's Relationship With Uncle Concerns Family Member
DEAR HARRIETTE: My aunt is hosting an old friend of hers, "Fran," who moved here for more work opportunities. Fran arrived nearly two years ago as travel nursing became increasingly popular and lucrative in the post-pandemic era. Originally, Fran moved in because she was trying to save money; since my aunt and her husband live by themselves and ...Read more
What Can I Even Talk About These Days?
DEAR MISS MANNERS: I understand that we shouldn't talk about religion, nor about politics.
Now it's food that's verboten.
Sports? Please, no!
Travel plans or trip reports? Yawn.
Health concerns? Yech.
Bragging/complaining about children/other relatives/neighbors/jobs? Snore.
Favorite movies/TV shows/news sources?
Hobbies?
New cars or ...Read more
Guilt, Grief and Grown Children
Dear Annie: Last October, my son and I bought a home with a pool. My fiance's son, who had not visited his father in years, offered to drive the moving truck. My fiance could not lift much due to a shoulder injury, but his son helped unload a few items. After the move, they visited once, and I welcomed them with food and hospitality. That was ...Read more
Surviving Family Member Comes To Bitter Realization
DEAR ABBY: I recently spent weeks caring for my mom in hospice. I was holding her hand when she took her last breath. I had announced to family and friends her choice to enter hospice. They knew her death was imminent. Being the last surviving child, it was up to me to arrange her funeral. Everyone, including my friends, asked me to keep them ...Read more
Millennial Life: When Quiet Isn't Enough
I used to believe in quiet resistance. You choose the right moments to slip wrenches into the gears without drawing the guard's attention. Movies love a covert operator like the whistleblower or the silent saboteur who knows that noise gets you caught. But we're not in the movies.
Lately, the vibes, as the kids would say, feel different. There'...Read more

Asking Eric: Yoga teacher picks on longtime student
Dear Eric: I've been taking yoga classes for at least eight years from a woman who teaches a small group in her yard. I'm friendly with most of the students in the class, but the instructor apparently doesn't like "the cut of my jib."
Example: She singled me out in class one time, saying I looked like "someone's mom in the '70s doing yoga." For...Read more
When Vacation Feels Like Work
Dear Annie: Every summer, I plan a trip. I picture my family on a peaceful beach, laughing together, toes in the sand, drinks in hand. But the reality? Total chaos.
I'm the one who books the flights, finds the rental, makes sure everyone has sunscreen, passports, snacks, chargers and swimsuits -- and still gets blamed when something goes ...Read more
Brother's Many Good Deeds Get Punished By His Sisters
DEAR ABBY: I am a 67-year-old man who has two sisters. Recently, I was at my younger sister "Mitzi's" house, installing some blinds. While there, I received a phone call from my girlfriend. (We have been together nine months, after my wife passed last year.) My girlfriend and I were discussing finances, including the topic of my older sister, "...Read more

Asking Eric: Husband’s emotional affair upends relationship
Dear Eric: Several months ago, I discovered my husband was having an emotional affair with a coworker. He shared significant things with her he didn’t share with me, sought her advice on how to hide his alcohol abuse from me and talked to her about our arguments, while she fueled the negativity against me and trashed me. He also discussed ...Read more
Office Worker Scared After Nearby Shooting
DEAR HARRIETTE: I work in midtown Manhattan, and as you probably know, there was a mass shooting there recently. New York City is known for its chaos, but this still feels so unreal to me. I work in the building immediately next door to the one this gunman targeted. Luckily, I happened to leave work just early enough to avoid the awful ...Read more
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