Life Advice
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Roommates Step On Each Other's Toes While Working
DEAR HARRIETTE: I work from home, and my roommate does, too. At first, it wasn't a big deal; we thought we could share the space easily and just use headphones when we had meetings. Lately, our schedules have started to clash, and we both end up taking video calls at the same time. Since our apartment is small, there's no real privacy, and her ...Read more
Pet Parent's Peers Peeved About Pooch's Provenance
DEAR MISS MANNERS: My husband and I have added a dog to our family. We tried to work with many different animal shelters and rescues, but it just did not work out for us to go that route.
We also did a lot of research on getting a dog from reputable breeders, but we couldn't afford any of them. We ended up purchasing a dog from what some would ...Read more
Engaged and Estranged
Dear Annie: I'm in a strange situation with my childhood best friend, "Lila." We're both 32 now, and while we've stayed close over the years, something shifted after I got engaged last spring. Lila has always been single, and she's made it clear she doesn't believe in marriage. I respect that. But since I got engaged, she's been acting distant...Read more
Rambunctious Children Causing A Ruckus For Neighbor
DEAR ABBY: I recently bought a first-floor condo because I am an older woman with a knee disability. Otherwise, I would have purchased a unit on the second floor of this two-story condo complex. I am only here part time because my husband is not ready for retirement.
The owner above me has two children who jump off the kitchen counter onto the ...Read more
Ask Anna: What to do when your partner feels insecure about your past
Dear Anna,
I’ve been dating my girlfriend for a little over a year, and for the most part things are great. We’re both pretty sentimental people, but in different ways. I save things — not in a hoarder way, but I’ve kept shoeboxes of old letters, birthday cards and printed photos from past relationships going back to college. I don’t ...Read more
Single File: Intro to the Survey
When I started asking the unmarried about their sex lives, survey mavens told me this was the first study ever to define single people's sexual patterns. Whether that's true or not I cannot say for sure, but I do know my research covers the emotional issues that can make or break fulfilling sexual union -- feelings seldom put on paper.
Deciding...Read more
Ask Dating Coach Erika: How do I tell someone I don't want to see them again?
Why is it that something that should seem so easy – telling someone you’re not interested – is so hard for so many people? I certainly understand that no one wants to hurt someone’s feelings. But, in saying nothing (ghosting, if you will), you’re doing a lot more damage to their feelings than simply telling a high-level version of the ...Read more
Asking Eric: Siblings clash over commemorating deceased sister
Dear Eric: My sister, Olivia, died unexpectedly about a year ago. I received the call. I in turn called my other brother and sister. Of my family, only Olivia and I were close. My brother bullied us mentally and physically during our childhood.
She has an adult son, who decided to let the state take care of things, as they were both transient. ...Read more
New Living Situation Upsets Traditional Parents
DEAR HARRIETTE: I moved in with my boyfriend recently, and my parents are furious. I come from a traditional background where living together before marriage is considered shameful. My mother won't speak to me, and my father told me he didn't raise me this way. I understand their values, but I think this is a step toward building a healthy ...Read more
Lack Of Leadership Makes A Confusing Workplace
DEAR MISS MANNERS: I work at a nonprofit that prides itself on being all-volunteer, with no boss. Decisions are made at monthly meetings. Having worked 35 years at a job with bosses, I understand that dynamic better.
With this volunteer group, it seems everyone is in charge, and personal feelings are expressed frequently. When a decision is ...Read more
Thanksgiving Dinner Dilemma
Dear Annie: This Thanksgiving I will be meeting my new boyfriend's family for the first time, and I am already a bundle of nerves. His mom is hosting a big traditional dinner at their home, the kind with a perfectly roasted turkey, gravy from scratch and about 10 different side dishes. She is known for her cooking, and apparently Thanksgiving ...Read more
Husband Repeatedly Mentions Late Ex In His Sleep
DEAR ABBY: My husband of 4 1/2 years had an old girlfriend he was on and off with for 15 years. She passed away while he was in prison. We got married three months after he was released. The thing is, when he sleeps, almost every night, he says her name and how much he loves her. He says because he's doing it in his sleep, he doesn't know he's ...Read more
Asking Eric: Neighbor’s vacant home threatens property
Dear Eric: The home next door is vacant. I think it is a rental property. There is a huge tree in the front yard that is coming over my property. A tree from this property fell on my house a few years ago. This caused my homeowner's insurance to be canceled because it was considered to be an act of nature.
I need to see if this can be avoided ...Read more
Daughter Regrets Estrangement From Mother
DEAR HARRIETTE: My mom passed a few weeks ago. We've been estranged for years. She moved to the United States when I was young in hopes of creating a better life for her children. She sent for me eventually, but I liked the life I had in our home country, so I stayed.
While in the U.S., my mom and dad had my younger brother. We've never been ...Read more
Working On Thanksgiving
DEAR MISS MANNERS: I have hired a cleaning woman, and she needs money to save for a newer automobile. She has no family in town, so I'm thinking about asking her to work on Thanksgiving by serving us and cleaning up at the family dinner.
She has opened up to me about very private details of her life, so I feel like I know her on a more personal...Read more
Teaching Kids Resilience, Not Fear
Dear Annie: My 12-year-old son has always loved playing soccer. He is not the most talented kid on the field, but he works hard, listens to feedback and truly enjoys being part of a team. Unfortunately, his new coach seems to have taken all the joy out of it.
From the first practice, this coach has been harsh, sarcastic and impatient. He ...Read more
Emotional Toll Grows Steeper For Aging Mother
DEAR ABBY: I have a 54-year-old profoundly disabled, non-verbal child who is in a group home. I have been advocating for her since birth, when we learned she had suffered severe brain damage. The umbilical cord was wrapped around her neck for so long that the damage was irreparable. My first husband couldn't handle it and left us.
Luckily, a ...Read more
Asking Eric: Boyfriend’s ex-mother-in-law still comes for coffee
Dear Eric: My boyfriend and I have been in a relationship for four years. His daughter still lives at home. She's kind of estranged from her mother but still gets together with her on Sundays to go to church.
I spend the weekends with him. The issue is that the ex-wife comes into the house and now the ex-mother-in-law is coming over. He even ...Read more
Overzealous Manager Doesn't Match Company's Vibe
DEAR HARRIETTE: The company I work for is known for having a great work-life balance and an overall positive culture -- that's one of the main reasons I accepted the job in the first place. Unfortunately, I seem to have ended up with one of the few managers who doesn't follow that philosophy. She has a habit of coming in early and staying late, ...Read more
Well, That's A New One
DEAR MISS MANNERS: At a dinner event I attended at a hotel, the tables were 10-foot rounds with tablecloths that went to the floor. The dinner was buffet style, but we were all wearing semi-formal attire.
The woman sitting next to me pulled the tablecloth up from the floor and set it on her lap, proudly saying that she wasn't going to get any ...Read more
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