Life Advice
/Health
/ArcaMax
Getting Ghosted, Then Guilted, Gets Galling
DEAR MISS MANNERS: How can you be responsible for ghosting someone when they never write to you?
Just because I have decided to accept their silence, and return it to them, doesn't mean I don't care. But what is the proper way to say goodbye? It actually seems worse to do it formally.
GENTLE READER: Tell the friend/spouse/child who is goading ...Read more
Married Life Has Lost Its Luster
Dear Annie: I'm writing because I feel embarrassed even admitting this, but I'm starting to dread parts of my own life that I worked hard to build.
I'm 52, married for 24 years, and we have two grown kids who are mostly launched. Our son is across the country and our daughter lives close enough to drop by for Sunday dinner. I used to look ...Read more
Couple's Long Relationship Reaches Tipping Point
DEAR ABBY: My boyfriend and I have been together for 18 years. Everyone we know thinks we are married, but we never got it on paper. He has always been less empathetic than I would like, and there's a lot of stuff I either had to accept or move on. He never buys me gifts (no matter how much I've told him it bothers me), and it has been a ...Read more
Asking Eric: Siblings stage hearing aid ‘intervention’
Dear Eric: I am 60 years old and have had hearing loss since grade school. I’d flunk all those screening tests. My two younger siblings also have my same type of hearing loss and have worn hearing aids since their 40s at least.
My siblings are persistent in trying to get me to buy hearing aids which they feel I need. Yes, I probably need them...Read more
Teenage Daughter Lacks Self-Confidence
DEAR HARRIETTE: My 19-year-old daughter is insecure about how she looks. She cries all the time and blames me for her appearance. I have no clue how to help her because every time I say that she is beautiful, she says I'm only saying that because I'm her mother. She is surrounded by social media images, unrealistic beauty standards and constant ...Read more
The Lament Of The January Baby
DEAR MISS MANNERS: My birthday is a few days after the new year. It's a very easy date to miss altogether in the shadow of December and New Year's celebrations. Growing up, I often received "combo" holiday and birthday presents. I was taught to thank relatives and friends and not complain that it "wasn't fair."
Nowadays, an e-card can be ...Read more
Weighed Down While Husband is Worry-Free
Dear Annie: I'm writing because I can't tell if I'm being too sensitive or if I'm finally seeing something I've been ignoring for years.
I'm 46, married, and we have three kids (two teens and one in college). On paper, our life is good. We're busy, we're stable, we show up for school events and family birthdays. But lately I feel like I'm ...Read more
Family Still Chooses a Side Amid Amicable Divorce
DEAR ABBY: My wife's nephew is getting divorced. The process seems to be amicable; there was no cheating or abuse. They have two children. Even though the soon-to-be-ex, "Michelle," has always been welcoming and nice, my wife's family has circled the wagons. They no longer talk to her and have made clear I can't either. I don't think that's ...Read more
Asking Eric: Boyfriend spends so much time with his ex-wife’s family
Dear Eric: My boyfriend of almost two years seems unable to break away from his former spouse's family. The marriage lasted 15 years. There were no children, so he has virtually no contact with the wife.
However, he seems unwilling to refuse any invitation from the family to have dinner, lunch and go on weekend trips to their bay house. ...Read more
Friend Feels Left Out After Not Getting Invite
DEAR HARRIETTE: My best friend is throwing a retirement party for her mom. My parents were invited, so I thought it would be OK to ask my friend if I could tag along. She responded by telling me how much it hurt her not to be invited to my mom's retirement party a couple of months back. For context, our families have been super close for nearly ...Read more
Why Is Everyone So Obsessed With Being Thanked?
DEAR MISS MANNERS: Why is it that people see it as mandatory to send a thank-you for a gift? It seems like people give gifts with the sole purpose of being appreciated. This seems contrary to the whole idea of giving a gift.
To explain further, let me tell you how I give gifts. I have a large family that is pretty far-flung. Some years I'm in ...Read more
Not My Friends' First Choice
Dear Annie: I am embarrassed to admit this at my age, but I feel like the kid left out at recess. I am in my late 40s, married with kids, a steady job and a calendar that looks full from the outside. But inside I feel lonely.
I have plenty of "friendly" people in my life. We chat at school pickup, at work, in the neighborhood, and everyone ...Read more
Son-In-Law Won't Allow Gay Couple To Stay The Night
DEAR ABBY: My husband and I (we're both male) have been together since 2007. We moved to Arizona in 2010. Most of our family lives in the Midwest. We have been visiting our families as often as possible, at least every other year. Our son-in-law refuses to let us stay the night in his home when we visit. His excuse is, he doesn't want to have to...Read more
Millennial Life: Marking Time in an Unceremonious World
The hot take that floated into my inbox this week was that resolutions are passe. Apparently, thinking about "next year" is outdated. We're in this grind of time and marking it arbitrarily doesn't matter. But, really, we time-travel constantly. It's one of the best things about being human.
We can rehearse future sticky conversations in the ...Read more
Asking Eric: Old resentment sour 50th high school reunion
Dear Eric: Why should I go to my 50th high school reunion? I received a phone call from a former classmate who wouldn't give me the time of day when we were in school together. “You need to go!” No, thank you.
The cost is outrageous. Plus, most of the people I would like to see are either not going or are deceased.
During my high school ...Read more
Asking Eric: Letter writer wants to eat strangers’ leftovers
Dear Eric: Often when I’m eating at a restaurant or cafe, I’ll notice other tables leaving half-finished food to be thrown out. In these situations, I’m tempted to either ask if I can have the remaining food, or to just pick it up from the empty table. I don’t like food waste and am completely unbothered by the thought of sharing food ...Read more
Dater Wants A Little More Effort Than A Dive Bar
DEAR HARRIETTE: A man asked me on a first date to a dive bar. I said no because I already felt like he was trying to see how little effort he could put into planning where we would go. I'm not saying he needed to spend a ton of money on me -- especially for a first date -- but his idea just felt flat-out lazy. In the past, I've been in ...Read more
Next Time, Make The Kind Gesture Yourself
DEAR MISS MANNERS: It's frigid cold here these days, but that didn't stop a huge turnout for a very popular food truck. The lines were pretty long, both to order and to pick up, but people passed the 15-20 minutes chatting with each other and joking about the cold.
An elderly man (late 70s, maybe?) pulled up in his car with (I assume) his wife ...Read more
Colleague Hasn't Been Honest With The Boss
DEAR ABBY: A co-worker, "Erin," has been allowed to work from home since the COVID-19 pandemic, while the rest of us came back to the office. We function alongside each other much like a small family. We have no drama, no office politics and an overall great atmosphere. Erin's absence has caused a strain on our team and has fueled resentment. ...Read more
Ask Anna: My boyfriend let his family humiliate me -- is this a deal-breaker?
Dear Anna,
I just got back from spending Christmas with my boyfriend’s family for the first time, and I’m still reeling from how badly it went. His mom made multiple passive-aggressive comments about my job as a freelance graphic designer, his sister openly questioned why we’re not engaged yet after one-and-a-half years together, and his ...Read more
Inside Life Advice
Popular Stories
- Ask Dating Coach Erika: Is there a 'right' amount of time to have been single?
- Ask Dating Coach Erika: Should I tell him why I don't want to see him anymore?
- Ask Anna: Is my boyfriend's obsession with data tracking optimizing our relationship?
- Ask Anna: My boyfriend let his family humiliate me -- is this a deal-breaker?
- As Minnesota farms falter, so do farm families






















