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Check This Out
Whenever I go to the supermarket, I have a big decision to make. It has nothing to do with which cereal to buy or what to make for dinner. It's not figuring out the math so I know whether to get 4 = 8 or 6 = 15 rolls of paper towels. It's all about which checkout to use: cashier or self-checkout.
On the plus side for the self-checkout, the ...Read more
Bumper Snickers pt. 4
... continued from above
BEER: It's not just for breakfast anymore.
So you're a feminist...Isn't that cute.
I need someone really bad... Are you really bad?
Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.
Wrong Bear
A guy, out hunting in Alaska, accidentally shoots a polar bear. Realising his mistake, he reports the incident to the local ranger.
A week later, he gets a letter in the mail, telling him that he is being taken to court by the park service. Arriving at court, he explains to the judge what happened, and the judge comes to a decision.
“As you ...Read more
What a Card!
Did you hear about the weekly poker game with Vasco da Gama, Christopher Columbus, Leif Eriksson and Francisco Pizarro?
They can never seem to beat the Straights of Magellan.
What's in a Name?
A young man called directory assistance. "Hello, operator, I would like the telephone number for Mary Jones in Phoenix, Arizona."
"There are multiple listings for Mary Jones in Phoenix," the operator replied. "Do you have a street name?"
The young man hesitated, and then said, "Well, most people call me Ice Man."
Last Second
A minister waited in line to have his car filled with gas just before a long holiday weekend.
The attendant worked quickly, but there were many cars ahead of him in front of the service station. Finally, the attendant motioned him toward a vacant pump.
"Sorry about the delay. It seems as if everyone waits until the last minute to get ...Read more
Julia Louis-Dreyfus on Her Dad Being on Nixon’s Enemies List, the Elaine Dance & Meeting The Rizzler
Julia brings Jimmy a puppy named Ethel to cheer him up after his stressful week and she talks about Jimmy coming back on air, her father being on Nixon’s “Enemies” list, her mom being on her podcast Wiser Than Me and asking Julia to speak at her retirement community, how she created the Elaine dance for Seinfeld, whether or not she is ...Read more
Top 5 Most-Watched Weekend Update Features | Season 50 | Saturday Night Live
Relive the top 5 most-watched Weekend Update features across SNL's digital platforms from Season 50, like visits from guests Moo Deng, The Couple You Can't Believe Are Together and more!
Jenna Ortega Surprises a Wednesday Cosplayer | Netflix
Jenna Ortega surprises one of her top Wednesday cosplayer fans.
Timothy Olyphant Writes His Own Late Night Introduction; Talks Alien: Earth
Timothy Olyphant gives Seth an introduction for himself that he wrote, talks about the painful process of bleaching his eyebrows for Alien: Earth and being an art major in college.
Famous Face-Off with Mariah Carey and Bozoma Saint John | The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon
Jimmy and Bozoma Saint John partner against Mariah Carey and Tariq Trotter from The Roots in a game where they take turns holding up celebrity masks and guessing who they are before time runs out.
Jerry Zezima: Not-so-hot stuff
Because I’m a guy who likes to be clean and fresh — my wife would raise a stink if I weren’t — I get burned up by showers that leave me cold.
That’s what happened one morning when I took a shower in water so absolutely freezing that it could have sent a polar bear into cardiac arrest.
So we called the heating company to send somebody...Read more
Get That Boy Back ft. Chris Stapleton - SNL
A group of women (Ego Nwodim, Chloe Fineman, Chloe Troast) sing a song about getting revenge on their men after getting betrayed.
Alien Recut as a Comedy | Trailer Mix
The spacecraft Nostromo has an unwanted guest wreaking havoc on the crew. No, it's not a bloodthirsty Alien... but an adorable kitten? Watch what happens in this re-imagined trailer.
Oscar Nuñez on Winning Who Wants to Be a Millionaire & Steve Carell's Improvised Kiss on The Office
Oscar talks about winning a million dollars on “Who Wants to Be a Millionaire” with Kate Flanner, playing for Planned Parenthood, not being allowed to tell anyone the outcome, telling his wife right after the taping, some of the difficult questions they had to answer, reprising his role from “The Office” on “The Paper,” and the ...Read more
Password with Mark Wahlberg and Kim Kardashian | The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon
Jimmy and Mark Wahlberg team up against Kim Kardashian and Tariq in the game Password.
Only Murders in the Building | "Which of the Pickwick Triplets Did It" Music Video | Hulu
Which of the Pickwick Triplets Did It is now streaming wherever you listen to music.
Carrie Preston Previews Stephen Colbert's Role In The Season Premiere Of "Elsbeth"
Emmy-winner Carrie Preston stops by The Late Show with a clip of Stephen Colbert's star turn as a doomed late night host, alongside his good friend Amy Sedaris, in the Season Three premiere of "Elsbeth,"
The Cat and the Comma
What is the difference between a cat and a comma?
One has the paws before the claws and the other has the clause before the pause.
Little Girl Walking Home From School
A man pulled up next to a little girl walking home from school and said "If you get in, I'll give you a lollypop." The girl kept walking.
Following along slowly, the man said "Come on and get in the car with me and I'll give you two lolly pops." She kept her eyes on the sidewalk and continued on her way.
The man said "Get in with me and I'll ...Read more
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