ArcaMax

...continued from above

Ms Brooks: "What is in your pants that you have but I do not have?"

The principal wondered why would she ask such a question!

Harry replied: "Pockets."

Ms. Brooks: "What does a dog do that a man steps into?"

Harry: "Pants."

The principal sat forward with his mouth hanging open.

Ms. Brooks: "What goes in hard...Read more

An elderly man lay dying in his bed. Nearing the final curtain, he suddenly smelled the aroma of his favorite chocolate chip cookies wafting up the stairs. He gathered his remaining strength, and lifted himself from the bed.

Leaning against the wall, he slowly made his way out of the bedroom, and with even greater effort forced himself down the...Read more

At a posh Manhattan dinner party, a Latin American visitor was telling the guests about this home country and himself. As he concluded, he said, "And I have a charming and understanding wife but, alas, no children."

As his listeners appeared to be waiting for him to continue, he said, haltingly, "You see, my wife is unbearable."

Puzzled...Read more

Marvin the Complainer and his wife happened to pass away on the same day and as they await their interview with St. Peter at the Pearly Gates, they're approached by an angel.

"Hello," says the angel. "I'm your host, and welcome to Heaven. In a few moments you'll be entering through our famous Pearly Gates for the most fantastic adventure you'...Read more

The Washington Post has published the winning submissions to its annual contest, in which readers are asked to supply alternate meanings for common words. Here are some of the selected results.

-- Coffee (n.), the person upon whom one coughs.

-- Flabbergasted (adj.), appalled over how much weight you have gained.

-- Abdicate (v.), to give...Read more

Before heading out on a family hike, we stood at the trailhead reviewing map pinned to a bulletin board. A red arrow on the map that said "You are here" caught my six year old's attention. Pointing to it he asked. "How do they know that?"

Next was a job in a shoe factory; I tried but I ...just didn't fit in.

I became a professional fisherman, but discovered that I ...couldn't live on my net income.

Thought about becoming a witch, so I ...tried that for a spell.

I managed to get a good job working for a pool-maintenance company, but the work was ...just too draining.

I got a ...Read more

The truth is that if you take a little time to learn a few basic principles and some of the technical lingo, buying the right computer and getting it to work properly is no more complicated than building a nuclear reactor from wristwatch parts in a darkened room using only your teeth. So let's get started!

Vice Presidents and personnel directors of the one hundred largest corporations were asked to describe their most unusual experience interviewing prospective employees.

- An applicant challenged the interviewer to an arm wrestle.
- An applicant wore a Walkman, explaining that she could listen to the interviewer and the music at the same ...Read more

Dave went on a business trip for a few days. When he returned, his wife reported that the dog really missed him. "She spent every night at the front door, waiting for you to come home," she said.

"What an example of devotion," Dave replied. "I wonder if you'd be that concerned about me?"

"Honey," she answered, "if you were gone overnight, and ...Read more