What is the difference between a cat and a comma?

One has the paws before the claws and the other has the clause before the pause.

A man pulled up next to a little girl walking home from school and said "If you get in, I'll give you a lollypop." The girl kept walking.

Following along slowly, the man said "Come on and get in the car with me and I'll ...Read More

So the guy goes in to his barber. He's all excited, and says, "I'm going to go to Rome. I'm flying on Alitalia and staying at the Rome Hilton, and I'm going to see the Pope!"

The barber says, "Ha! Alitalia is a ...Read More

"[Arnold Schwarzenegger and I] both married above ourselves, we both have trouble with the English language, we both have big biceps -- well, two out of three aren't bad." --George W. Bush

---

"My wife was back here...Read More

Four-year-old Johnny was eating a hot dog when he dropped it on the floor. He quickly picked it up and was about to take another bite when his mom said, "No, Johnny, you can't eat that now it has germs."

Johnny ...Read More

... continued from above

BEER: It's not just for breakfast anymore.

So you're a feminist...Isn't that cute.

I need someone really bad... Are you really bad?

Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.