Dater Questions Continuing To See Startup Founder
DEAR HARRIETTE: I went on a first date last weekend with the founder of a startup. We went out for dinner and got drinks afterward. I had a great time. He says he wants to keep seeing me; however, he travels a lot for work, so I won't be able to see him again until late next month. I don't know if I want to be with someone who is never around. I'm conflicted because part of me feels like it's too early to be worried about this. We've only had one date, after all. Another part of me is already questioning how something like this could realistically develop. I don't know if I want to invest time and energy into someone who is rarely around, especially when I value consistency and quality time in a relationship.
At the same time, I don't want to write him off prematurely when we had a real connection. I wonder what dating someone like this would even look like. Would we just text and call for weeks at a time? Would I always have to fit into the gaps of his schedule? Should I pursue the relationship? -- First Date
DEAR FIRST DATE: Plenty of people who date (and even marry) someone with a busy career sacrifice consistency for excitement. Before you give up on this guy, get to know him. Yes, text and talk until you see each other again. Be present and enjoy whatever you do together. Then assess whether it's enough.
DEAR HARRIETTE: My mother recently called me crying from Cabo San Lucas after finding out my father had been having an affair for more than 30 years, which is the entire span of their marriage. My parents always seemed like the picture-perfect couple: They met in high school, stayed in their hometown and had three beautiful children.
Since finding out, I am obviously livid with my father; however, I am even angrier at him for not reaching out to me at all. He hasn't called or texted since I found out. I even went home for the weekend to check on my mom, and when he came home to grab some of his things, he avoided making eye contact with me. I feel like I'm part of this breakup, too. Is there anything I can do, or is it up to him to reach out? -- Trouble in Paradise
DEAR TROUBLE IN PARADISE: Your father is being a coward. Don't let him. Contact him and tell him you want to talk in person. You are right: This is not just between your parents. It is directly impacting you, and you have a right to talk about what's happening to your family. Know, though, that if he deceived your mother for 30 years, chances are, he won't have anything constructive to say. You might ask him what he wants the future to look like for your relationship with him and what he is willing to do to make that happen.
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(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)
Copyright 2026, Harriette Cole
COPYRIGHT 2026 Andrews McMeel Syndication. This feature may not be reproduced or distributed electronically, in print or otherwise without the written permission of Andrews McMeel Syndication.
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