Life Advice
/Health
Grieving Child Wants Friends To Pay More Attention
DEAR HARRIETTE: I am going through a tough time emotionally. My mom is in hospice care, which means she is nearing the end of her life. We are very close. It is obvious that she has a limited time to live, but it's still hard to witness.
When I talk to friends about it, I realize that most people don't listen. I have called my closest friends ...Read more
Grandmothers Make Toddler's Birthday About Them
DEAR HARRIETTE: I threw my 2-year-old daughter a birthday party last week and invited my husband's family and my family. I was so excited to have everyone together to celebrate, but the day quickly turned stressful when our mothers got into a heated argument. It started as a few passive-aggressive comments, but it escalated when my mother-in-law...Read more
Mom Wants To Help Daughter With Autism Make Friends
DEAR HARRIETTE: I am the mother of a wonderful, bright and kindhearted 10-year-old daughter who is autistic. She is creative and has a deep passion for animals and art, but she struggles with social interactions. Making friends has never been easy for her, and now that she's in a new school, it seems even harder. She tells me often that other ...Read more
Sibling Worried Sister Has Wrong College Priorities
DEAR HARRIETTE: My youngest sister is in the process of applying and being accepted to colleges -- for the second time. She's had some trouble in the past in terms of staying focused and prioritizing her degree and her education, and now as she's applying to get back into college, she's constantly consulting her friends. I won't pass judgment on...Read more
Neighbor Acts Like Building Busybody
DEAR HARRIETTE: There is a woman in my building who is constantly acting like community watch or building security. We have a group chat, mainly for updates and maintenance announcement purposes, but she is always writing things in there and telling our building manager what to do. "There is an umbrella left in the lobby. Can we check the ...Read more
Mother's Hoarding Worries Her Child
DEAR HARRIETTE: I am struggling to help my mother, who is a hoarder. Growing up, our house was always cluttered, but it has gotten significantly worse over the years. Every room is packed with boxes, old furniture and things she refuses to throw away. It's to the point where she can barely move around her home, and I worry about her safety. I've...Read more
Partner With Bad Credit Hasn't Shared With Boyfriend
DEAR HARRIETTE: I've made some questionable decisions over the years that had a negative impact on my credit. Many of those mistakes were things I did when I didn't fully understand the concept of credit and financial responsibility. Now my bad credit is haunting me. I've been trying to take all of the steps to diminish debt and rectify certain ...Read more
Sensitive Reader Wants To Take Things Less Seriously
DEAR HARRIETTE: I am trying to work on becoming less bothered by the small things in life. I take things personally, whether they are big or small, and I let them ruin my whole day. For instance, if someone makes a harmless joke at my expense or if I receive minor criticism at work, I dwell on it for hours, sometimes even days. Even when I know ...Read more
Chef Considers Becoming Culinary Instructor
DEAR HARRIETTE: I am a trained chef, culinary producer, published recipe author and former caterer. The television and culinary industries can both be unstable at times. A lot of the work I do is contracted for specific periods of time, meaning it's always a hustle to get new work. My last gig (with a major network) ended a few months ago. Since...Read more
Man Realizes Fear Of Deep Water On Vacation
DEAR HARRIETTE: I love beaches and sandy vacations, but somehow I also have a wild fear of deep waters. I don't think I ever come to that realization before -- probably because I'm never too far from shore and I'm tall -- which also makes me feel embarrassed about the whole thing.
Recently, I went to Mexico on vacation with a girl I'm dating. ...Read more
Divorcee Struggles To Find Direction
DEAR HARRIETTE: I recently went through a divorce, and I'm struggling to figure out who I am now. There were no kids involved, so the breakup was really just between my ex and me. I thought I had my life figured out, but now that I'm on my own, I'm feeling lost. I've been so focused on being a partner for so long that I don't even know what I ...Read more
Parent Wants To Confront Teacher About Son's Injury
DEAR HARRIETTE: My kid twisted his ankle at school today, and the teacher didn't do anything about it. My son told me that he was in pain and was struggling to walk, but instead of sending him to the nurse or calling me, the teacher told him to "walk it off." By the time he got home, his ankle was swollen, and I had to take him to the doctor. ...Read more
Parents Differ On How To Approach Grief Process
DEAR HARRIETTE: My 7-year-old daughter's hamster died last night, and my husband wanted to go buy a new one that looked exactly like her old one so she wouldn't notice that he had died. I said that this is a ridiculous idea; our daughter needs to learn how to deal with situations in life that make her sad. We ended up arguing about it because he...Read more
Girlfriend's Irresponsibility Irritates Partner
DEAR HARRIETTE: I'm at a crossroads with my girlfriend. In our house, we share many of our bills. I take care of things like rent and the car payment for our shared vehicle, and she is supposed to take care of utilities. She has had a history of being a bit reckless with her spending, and I thought that with some of the bills in her name, it ...Read more
Teen Daughter Acting Up After Breakup
DEAR HARRIETTE: I think my daughter might be suffering from a broken heart. I'm speculating, but a few weeks ago, she and her boyfriend broke up; he's a rising star on his high school football team, and you know how that goes. Anyway, she's been rude and moody, and she actually ended up pushing her mom during a heated argument. Unfortunately, I ...Read more
Friend Loses Touch While Consumed By Grief
DEAR HARRIETTE: One of my good friends has retreated completely. Last year her best friend passed away, and I think that loss is taking a major toll on her. At first, she was holding up all right, but now she doesn't really respond to me or any other friends. I don't think she's active physically or socially, aside from work. I know grief can be...Read more
City Dweller Exposed To Drug Usage
DEAR HARRIETTE: Today I saw and smelled someone smoking crack on a subway platform near to where I was standing. I was stunned. I know it happens all around my city -- in theory -- but I've never truly witnessed it in real time, only the aftereffects of it. What could I have done in that moment to help that situation? The subway platform was ...Read more
Reader Wants To Lead Public Panel
DEAR HARRIETTE: I've always admired public speakers. I have a desire to sit on a panel and share my thoughts, but a part of me struggles with courage, and another part of me questions the authenticity of this desire. Is it OK to aspire to be a speaker, or is that a role that should be granted to someone based on their professional or academic ...Read more
Actor Struggling With Lack Of Family Support
DEAR HARRIETTE: My family has never taken my acting career seriously, and it's starting to wear on me. I've been dedicated to acting for 15 years, performing in multiple plays and constantly working to improve my craft. However, I've never landed a leading role, and because of that, my family sees my passion as more of a hobby than a real career...Read more
Friend Upset That Woman Forgoes Tipping When Eating Out
DEAR HARRIETTE: I have a friend who never tips when we go out to eat, and honestly, it's starting to bother me. I understand it a bit more when she's at a cafe and ordering at the counter, but even at full-service restaurants where the waitstaff is taking our orders, refilling our drinks and bringing out our food, she doesn't tip at all. I find ...Read more