ArcaMax

DEAR MISS MANNERS: Is a ride on a motorcycle a good idea for a first date? My date showed up carrying two helmets and wearing a leather jacket.

I had to put my arms around him so as not to fall off the bike, which was embarrassing. My date is otherwise very traditional. The ride was fun, although we didn't get a chance to talk.

GENTLE READER: Did you not eventually arrive somewhere?

Having to wrap your arms around this gentleman was no doubt part of his plan, and why he thought it would be a good first date -- and why Miss Manners does not. It requires too intimate of a gesture in the early stages, when you should be getting to know each other.

She suggests a coffee shop for your next date. If you grant him one.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: A frequent correspondent of mine includes a business closure on every social email: name, contact information details, quotation of support from a famous person. This addendum is 13 lines long.

If I respond and she writes back again, there's that automatic closure. Before I respond in the chain, I delete her lengthy closure -- yes, each time it appears in the conversation.

I find this addendum pathetic. No one else I know intentionally includes a business closure with EVERY response. I often retain an entire email conversation if it answers a series of questions, and I resent editing this person's automatic gobbledygook.

GENTLE READER: Is there a question in there? Or did you just want confirmation that your diagnosis of gobbledygook is correct and that your solution is polite?

Miss Manners assures you that it is -- as long as you do not reveal your insulting opinion. If asked about it, you can tell the correspondent that you wanted to track the conversation more easily. Which you should also refrain from calling gobbledygook.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: A friend has this absolutely annoying habit of doing laundry while entertaining guests.

We are all aware that she has five children -- three of her own, and two of her sister's kids of whom she has custody -- and therefore probably has more laundry to do then some of us. But it is always thrown in everyone's faces how much she has to do when she invites friends over for barbecues, Friday night get-togethers, whatever the case may be.

Personally, I feel that she is showing a total lack of respect for her guests when she can't forgo the laundry for a couple of hours. It's not like she doesn't do it during the day, as well.

Is there a way to address this issue, or should I just stop going over to her house if I'm going to be annoyed by this? Believe me, I'm not the only one who is irritated by it.

GENTLE READER: Perhaps you and your annoyed friends could offer to help. She will probably say no, but it will be an acknowledgement of how hard she is working -- which is what Miss Manners is certain she wants to hear.

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(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, gentlereader@missmanners.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

Copyright 2025 Judith Martin

COPYRIGHT 2025 JUDITH MARTIN