Life Advice
/Health
When Friendly Favors Go Too Far
Dear Annie: Last week, my good friend "Jess" called me at 6 a.m. to ask if I could drive her to an appointment that same morning, even though I had to be at work by 8. This kind of last-minute favor is becoming a pattern. I've been tempted to say no, but she will always guilt me with something like, "You're the only one I can count on!"
I ...Read more
Giving Thanks
Dear Readers: I want to wish you and your families a wonderful Thanksgiving! This holiday gives me the perfect reason to express how grateful I am for all of you. Your thoughtful questions and comments have taught me so much about life and continue to inspire me every day. Thank you for letting me be a part of your journey.
Practicing ...Read more
Disciplinary Divide
Dear Annie: My husband and I have a 6-year-old daughter, "Eliza," and we recently have not been seeing eye to eye in terms of how to handle discipline. For example, last week, when she refused to put her toys away after playing with them, I told her she couldn't watch TV until it was done. She threw a fit, and instead of backing me up, my ...Read more
Am I the Problem?
Dear Annie: I work at a school as a teacher and have struggled over the years with how cliquey the other teachers have been. Shortly after I started there, the pandemic happened, and many people friended each other on Facebook. Because that was the only source for a sense of community as we went through those first few dark months, I accepted ...Read more
Family Won't Support Plan to Move Closer to Grandkids
Dear Annie: We have a home that's over 120 years old, and we've spent a lot of time and money maintaining it because we love it. We finally have it just the way we want, but it's becoming too much for us. After a lot of discussion, I finally convinced my husband to consider selling and moving, and he's on board. The problem, though, is with ...Read more
A Sister's Betrayal and a Brother's Blame
Dear Annie: My brother regularly calls to blame me for my strained relationship with our sister, without knowing my side of the story. For my own peace of mind, I keep my distance from her, though I still send her Christmas gifts, birthday cards and other greetings -- which she ignores and never reciprocates.
My sister is a school counselor, ...Read more
Crushing on a Younger Co-Worker: Is It Worth the Risk?
Dear Annie: I have a crush on my 18-year-old co-worker, and I'm certain she has a crush on me, too -- even though I'm 42 and she doesn't know my age yet. The age gap is too big, which makes me afraid to ask her out because I don't want to ruin my friendship with her.
The last time I had a relationship with an age gap this big was with a 19-...Read more
Best Friend Feels Betrayed by My New Relationship With His Ex
Dear Annie: My best friend's ex-wife and I have found each other after decades and fallen in love. The whole situation is really complicated. She left their marriage over 30 years ago and recently divorced another man -- the one she left my friend for. She left my friend bitter and broken and he's never really forgiven her. I can't blame him. ...Read more
Ready for Marriage, but My Boyfriend Is Hesitant
Dear Annie: I'm a 47-year-old woman, and I've been with my boyfriend, "Greg," for almost six years. I'm really happy with him, and I am at the point where I really can't imagine being with anyone else. There's just one thing: He has not proposed, and I don't know if he ever will.
It's gotten to the point where I feel almost desperate for him ...Read more
Keeping Family Ties Alive Shouldn't Be a Solo Effort
Dear Annie: As a wife, mother of three and a full-time program manager overseeing a crisis unit, I juggle a lot of responsibilities. Despite my busy schedule, I find myself having to be the one to initiate contact with my husband's side of the family. If I didn't, we would likely never see them. Maintaining family connections is important to ...Read more
Adult Child Choosing Comfort Over Family Tradition
Dear Annie: I'd love your perspective on an issue I'm having with my adult daughter, who lives in another state. She visits every Christmas for several days but refuses to stay overnight at my home. She claims my guest room is too cluttered and noisy, or she offers other excuses for not staying. Instead, she rents an Airbnb for part of her ...Read more
Am I Setting the Wrong Boundaries?
Dear Annie: I have complex feelings about my family, which may come across as harsh, but I feel it's important to explain. They exhibit behaviors that I find troubling, such as a tendency to rely on the more successful members of the family for support without taking accountability for their own circumstances. In their view, refusing to help ...Read more
Should I Reconcile With My Abusive Ex for the Sake of Our Son?
Dear Annie: I was married to my spouse for 34 years, and throughout our marriage, he was abusive. I separated from him two and a half years ago, and we are now divorced. Six months after the separation, he called to apologize for not being a good husband. I asked if he wanted to reconcile, but he had already started seeing someone else just ...Read more
Spotting the Red Flags in an Online Relationship
Dear Annie: I met this guy who seems to be my soulmate. He lives in America, and I'm in South Africa. However, he refuses to meet me and says it's because he is a celebrity.
He is manipulative and constantly makes me cry. He wants me to send him money before we meet, but because I can't -- I just don't have the funds he's asked for -- he has ...Read more
Balancing Passion and Practicality
Dear Annie: I'm a high school senior worried about my future. I still haven't found a major I really want to do, and I'm running out of time. Animation/art is my passion, but I don't want to get my degree in it. I haven't found anything else I'm interested in pursuing. I want to make money without selling my soul to do something I'd hate. How ...Read more
Heartbroken After Years of Caregiving
Dear Annie: I lost my husband 10 years ago. He was a great man, and we had a good marriage for over 30 years. It took me a while (seven years) to date, and when I did, I met a guy who was seven years older than me and twice divorced, but I was very attracted to him, and he was to me. We spent six months together, and then I left for the winter...Read more
Navigating Social Exclusion as a Widow
Dear Reader: Many of you wrote in regarding the newly widowed woman who stopped receiving invitations to couples' gatherings. A great number of you shared similar experiences. Below are a few letters that reflect this.
Dear Widowing: The invisibility you feel often grows in proportion to how insecure other women are. If they perceive you as ...Read more
Recovery Turns to Screen Addiction
Dear Annie: Several years ago, my wife suffered a stroke. As part of her recovery, her doctor recommended a video game to help improve her hand-eye coordination. At first, it seemed like a great idea; it gave her a sense of accomplishment and helped in her healing. But over time, this once-helpful activity has grown into a serious phone ...Read more
Honoring Our Heroes
Dear Readers: Wishing you a Happy Veterans Day. Please find below some enjoyable quotes to celebrate these heroes.
"Freedom makes a huge requirement of every human being. With freedom comes responsibility." -- Eleanor Roosevelt
"Freedom is never free." -- Unknown
"Freedom is nothing but a chance to be better." -- Albert Camus
"May we think...Read more
Navigating Family Dynamics With Grace
Dear Annie: I loved reading the different responses from both grandmothers in the "Daughter-in-Law's Dilemma." I'm fortunate to be the daughter-in-law of the most amazing people. My husband is the youngest of seven children, all of whom have two or three kids of their own. We have two boys, ages 19 and 20, and agree that boys often gravitate ...Read more