Life Advice
/Health
Setting Boundaries Without Guilt or Conflict
Dear Annie: Thank you for the work you do on behalf of the good. I often read your columns on boundaries, and I deeply appreciate your encouragement to not only set boundaries for ourselves but also respect those of others. Boundaries feel like such an important concept, yet sometimes they are hard to define in everyday life.
I often find ...Read more
Peace of Mind Is Possible
Dear Annie: Families Anonymous could be a great help to many of the people who write in to you. The program is most often associated with families dealing with loved ones who struggle with addiction, but I discovered it has value in many other situations as well.
I first attended Families Anonymous because I was overwhelmed with anxiety about...Read more
When Siblings Stop Showing Up
Dear Annie: Thirteen years ago, I started doubting my family's place in my life. I come from a family of four boys, but only one of my three remaining brothers keeps in touch.
My oldest brother is up in years and no longer able to get around. The middle brother and his wife are the only family members who keep in touch. The last brother lives...Read more
Balancing His Goals and Hers
Dear Annie: My husband and I have been married for 11 years. We've always had a solid partnership with no major issues. But lately, I've been feeling like I'm just a supporting character in his life.
He recently started a new job that he's passionate about, and while I'm happy for him, everything seems to revolve around his schedule, his ...Read more
Drawing the Line With Loved Ones
Dear Annie: My sister, "Erin," has always been a bit dramatic, but lately it feels like she's manufacturing chaos. She's going through a divorce, and while I understand that's difficult, she's started calling me multiple times a day just to vent -- about her ex, the kids, her job, our parents, her neighbor's barking dog -- anything and ...Read more
Caught Between Sisters
Dear Annie: I am caught in a very difficult family situation. I have twin sisters-in-law, Tricia and Tanya, who have not spoken to each other in more than 25 years. To complicate things further, Tanya and her mother have also been estranged for 24 years.
I've managed to maintain good relationships with both sisters, but things have come to a ...Read more
When the Neighbor's Mess Becomes Your Problem
Dear Annie: I have lived in my house for more than 40 years. In all that time, I have done my best to be a good neighbor. I am not the type to throw block parties or socialize regularly, but I have always made a point to wave, say hello and keep a friendly atmosphere on our street. Until recently, that was enough to maintain a peaceful, ...Read more
Shifting the Blame
Dear Annie: I often see letters in your column from mothers-in-law with various complaints about their daughters-in-law. The themes are familiar: "She never invites me to activities." "She doesn't take pictures of me with the baby." "She won't let me see my grandchild."
What I find myself wondering is: Why is all of the frustration directed ...Read more
The Scent of Honesty
Dear Annie: I used to really enjoy my job. Then came my new cubicle mate. She is perfectly nice, friendly, polite, even funny, but she also has body odor so powerful it could knock over a houseplant. Our desks are only five feet apart, which means I spend eight hours a day marinating in her scent cloud. By mid-morning, my stomach is churning, ...Read more
Protecting What's Private
Dear Annie: My husband and I have a large family, and earlier this year we welcomed our newest baby, "Izzy." The pregnancy went smoothly, and everyone thought she was healthy until about half a week after coming home, when she began showing concerning symptoms. We've been working closely with her doctor ever since and recently learned she has ...Read more
Feeling Unsafe in Your Own Space
Dear Annie: A set of neighbors used to live across the street from me. When they did, I thought they were really nice, but I found out later -- too late -- that they were meth addicts who stole anything that wasn't nailed down, including from me. I discovered they would watch when I'd leave and go into my house. I'm 74 and from the era when we...Read more
Learning to Say 'I've Got This' at Work, and 'No, Thank You' at Home
Dear Annie: I recently started a new job at a software company, and for the most part, I really like it. The work is interesting, my co-workers are friendly, and the company culture is a good fit for me. The only issue is my manager. She has a habit of micromanaging just about everything I do. She insists on reviewing emails before I send them...Read more
When You've Always Been There for Family -- and They're No Longer There for You
Dear Annie: I am an 85-year-old widow living alone. I have three children, five grandchildren and five great-grandchildren. In years past, when I was still driving, I would visit regularly and made it a point to stay involved. I helped pay for camps, lessons, pageants, tutors and even household expenses. I have always tried to be generous with...Read more
Fractured Bonds
Dear Annie: My husband and I recently went on an eight-day cruise to Iceland with two close friends. We have been friends for more than 40 years and have traveled together many times. Two days before we were to leave, I tested positive for Covid. I went to urgent care, and the doctor told me I could still go on the trip. I began Paxlovid and ...Read more
Fault-Finding Friends
Dear Annie: My spouse and I have longtime friends who visit from out of town several times a year. We've kept up this tradition for many years, and in return we also visit them. At first, these visits were enjoyable, but lately they've become a source of stress.
It began with small comments -- they said the guest bed wasn't comfortable and ...Read more
Words for the Fall
Dear Readers: Below are some of my favorite quotes about fall and the changing of seasons. I hope you enjoy their words as much as I do.
Ralph Waldo Emerson reminded us, "Each moment of the year has its own beauty." He also believed, "Nature always wears the colors of the spirit."
Henry David Thoreau urged us, "Live in each season as it ...Read more
When Is It Time to Rethink Old Friendships?
Dear Annie: I wonder if you could shed some light on something that's been bothering me.
I have five girlfriends I've been close with for many years. I keep their secrets, I don't talk behind their backs, and I've always treated them with respect. As we've gotten older and more serious about our lives, we each began moving out on our own, ...Read more
Babysitting or Back-Seat Parenting?
Dear Annie: My husband and I have a 3-year-old daughter, and we're trying to raise her with structure -- regular bedtime, limited screen time and no sweets before meals. The problem is my mother-in-law.
She watches our daughter twice a week, and despite repeated conversations, she ignores every boundary we set. She lets her stay up late, ...Read more
When Friends Pull Away
Dear Annie: My best friend, "Cara," has been dating a guy for about six months who, frankly, none of our friends can stand. He talks over her constantly, makes inappropriate jokes, and once made a rude comment about her weight right in front of us. She brushed it off like it was nothing, but I could tell she was embarrassed.
Since she started...Read more
No Closure, No Invitation
Dear Annie: My supervisor and I worked closely together for more than 30 years. Over that time, he became more than a boss; he was a friend. Even after he and his wife retired to Florida, he kept in touch, calling every week or two to check in with a handful of us from the old office. When he was back in town visiting two of his children, he ...Read more