ArcaMax

It was one of those days where everything was taking a ridiculously long time. There was a line at the dry cleaners. A line at the supermarket. A line at the gas station. I was starting to think that everyone in the world had the same to-do list that I did; they were just one to-do ahead of me the whole day.

I finally made it to the last ...Read more

When it comes to air travel, I'm certainly no stranger to flight delays. On a trip last summer, our return flight was delayed 36 hours. Strangely enough, this was also approximately the same amount of time I had been in labor with my son. The difference was at the end of my labor, I got a beautiful child, whereas at the end of the flight delay...Read more

I wouldn't say I'm nose blind to the smell of my dog, but typically, I don't realize he needs a bath until the board of health shows up and condemns the dog, his bed and our house.

My husband will usually smell him before I do. Maybe it's because he's out of the house all day, and when he walks in the door, the smell hits him like a ...Read more

There are a lot of things my husband does well. Shopping, however, is not his forte. This I learned after I sent him to the drugstore to get me some Anbesol for my canker sore, and he came home with Anusol, a product for hemorrhoids.

"It was an honest mistake," he admitted.

"Yes, I can see how you might have been confused," I said. "One ...Read more

As the chief domestic officer of our family, I'm usually pretty fastidious about the cleanliness of my home. But every once in a while, something escapes my attention, and then, before I know it, we have a disturbing situation on our hands.

Such is the case with my refrigerator.

"Something in the fridge has gone bad," said my husband, ...Read more

If this were a game of Clue, I knew who the victim was, where it died, and what killed it.

The Roomba was dead. In the den. With a shag carpet.

But the question was, who done it?

When I arrived home that day at 12:41 p.m., the familiar whooshing of the Roomba, set to vacuum at 12:30 p.m. each day, was suspiciously absent. I scoured the ...Read more

I always keep a dozen reusable grocery bags in my car so I don't have to buy one when I go shopping. Naturally, I would always forget to take some in, and then mid-checkout, I'd have to make a mad dash to my car to get my bags while a line of annoyed shoppers formed behind me. I thought it was OK for them to wait five minutes while I saved the...Read more

There wasn't a full moon. I didn't walk under a ladder or break a mirror. No black cats crossed my path. Yet it was undeniably one of those days when I felt cursed. It started with the demise of my coffee maker, followed by the nervous breakdown of my washing machine, and an unfriendly letter calling me for jury duty. I blatantly ignored all ...Read more

When we got the last-minute invite to a Christmas party at someone's house, I didn't realize I had a problem until I was waiting for the elevator to take us up.

"Oh no! I don't have a gift," I said to my husband.

"What?" he replied.

"I don't have a gift," I repeated. "I don't have a hostess gift. We've never been to this woman's apartment ...Read more

"Is it still spitting out there?" I asked my husband as he walked in the door. It was dark and gray outside and was forecast to rain all day, but I couldn't tell if it was actually raining at that moment or not.

He shook out his umbrella and dropped it on the floor.

"I don't like the word 'spitting,'" he said.

I thought for a moment.

"How ...Read more

"Ow!"

I woke up with a start when my husband's left arm whacked me in the head. I rolled over to yell at him and saw that he was sound asleep. His hands, however, were wide awake and keeping a perfect 3/4 time to some mystery concerto.

Sadly, this was not the first time this had happened. My husband works in the music industry, and like most...Read more

I wouldn't say I'm a slave to fashion, but I do like to follow some of the trends each season. I usually get just a few pieces that ultimately look more age-appropriate on my daughter than me, but I get them anyway and I'm happy even if I do look like an idiot. So imagine my dismay when I found out that two of the big looks this year were ......Read more

"I'll have the burger," my husband said to the server when she came to take our lunch order.

"Would you like a salad or fries with that?" she asked.

"Salad," he said definitively.

"No, fries," I corrected him.

"I don't want fries," he said.

"But I do, and my sandwich doesn't come with them," I explained.

He rolled his eyes and shrugged ...Read more