Two People Who Just Hooked Up (Andrew Dismukes, Ashley Padilla) stop by Weekend Update to discuss the government shutdown.

... continued from above

...that no matter how you try to protect your children, they will eventually get arrested and end up in the local paper.

...that the people you care most about in life are taken from you too soon...Read More

A chemist, a physicist, and a mathematician are stranded on an island when a can of food rolls ashore. The chemist and the physicist comes up with many ingenious ways to open the can.

Then suddenly the mathematician gets ...Read More

Mary offered to care for the eight-year-old daughter of neighbours who were going away for the weekend. On the Saturday morning, she made breakfast, laying a generous helping of bacon and eggs in front of the child. "Mummy...Read More

A woman walks into a butcher's shop just before closing time and asks, "Do you have any turkey?"

The butcher opens his fridge, takes out his only turkey and puts it on the weighing scales. It weighs six pounds.

The woman...Read More

Did you hear about the guy who went to the dentist to get new dentures? His insurance was denied and he only had a dollar on him... so he wound up with buck teeth.