10. Hundreds of volunteers have started to stack sandbags around you.

9. Doctor tells you your weight would be perfect for a man 17 feet tall.

8. You are responsible for a slight but measurable shift in the earth's axis....Read More

As a member of the organization that installs computer systems aboard Navy ships, I am mindful of how important the off-ship e-mail capabilities are to sailor morale, especially when some vessels are deployed for up to six...Read More

Freud: The fact that you are at all concerned that the chicken crossed the road reveals your underlying sexual insecurity.

Saddam Hussein: This was an unprovoked act of rebellion and we were quite justified in dropping 50...Read More

Oxygen meets up with Potassium and Sodium.

"Hey," says Oxygen, "Do you want to go to a movie?"

"K" responds Potassium.

"Na" responds Sodium.

I was on vacation in Texas, and was appalled by Dallas' chaotic traffic.

I asked the bellhop at the hotel why it was so disorderly and was told,

"In some countries they drive on the right, in others on the left. Here we ...Read More

In this series of interviews, Tim Robinson shows a video of Mike O'Brien testing out a stand-up set on his kids before talking about working with Will Forte on his sketch comedy series I Think You Should Leave and running ...Read More