If you drink, don't park. Accidents cause people.

If you can read this, I can hit my brakes and sue you.

Save the whales! Trade them for valuable prizes.

Whitewater is over when the First Lady sings.

Continued below...

1. Your son has a remarkable ability in gathering needed information from his classmates.
(He was caught cheating on a test).

2. Karen is an endless fund of energy and viability.
(The hyperactive monster can'...Read More

A daddy teased his little daughter by suggesting she liked a certain boy in her kindergarten class.

The little girl was quite indignant. "No, daddy, I don't like him!" she stated. "He's only interested in one thing."

...Read More

"If Lincoln were alive today he'd roll over in his grave." --Gerald Ford (president, 1974-77)

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"A friend of mine was asked to a costume ball a while ago. He slapped some egg on his face and went as a liberal ...Read More

Ryan Reynolds is a very busy man who can’t be everywhere at once. So fortunately we have a brand new Mint Mobile spokesman to pick up the slack.

EXTENDED INTERVIEW: Late night legend Conan O'Brien sits down with Stephen Colbert for a wide-ranging discussion about his comedy career, his love for his parents, his warning for late night talk show hosts, and his first ...Read More