Like drops of water hitting a hot pan, Jay Roach’s “The Roses” makes a dramatic sizzle, then evaporates on contact. Adapted from Warren Adler’s 1981 novel, and a remake of Danny DeVito’s 1989 film “The War of the Roses,” starring Michael Douglas and Kathleen Turner, Roach’s film is an update on this black comedy about the ultimate marriage strife. He’s installed a pair of Brits, Benedict Cumberbatch and Olivia Colman, as the quarrelsome couple, and there are no two finer actors to take on the tangle of insults penned by Tony McNamara, who wrote the screenplay.

Colman has already tackled McNamara’s gloriously florid language in her Oscar-winning role as Queen Anne in “The Favourite” (McNamara was also nominated for his screenplay for that film, as well as for his screenplay for “Poor Things” five years later), and Cumberbatch is her perfect sparring partner for this duel of bone-dry witty banter. In the mouths of Colman and Cumberbatch, every sling and arrow is a delectable bite laced with acid.

Perhaps that’s the problem with Roach’s take on “The Roses”: do they hate each other or are they just British? It’s a question that bedevils the American characters in the film too, who try to discern if their banter is just that, or something more.

Ivy (Colman) and Theo (Cumberbatch) meet — and mate — cute in a restaurant kitchen where Ivy is an up-and-coming chef, Theo an exasperated architect escaping a work lunch. After two shakes of a walk-in refrigerator, they find themselves living in Mendocino, California, with their twins Hattie (Delaney Quinn) and Roy (Ollie Robinson). Theo’s spectacular new museum is about to open, and to encourage Ivy to pursue her culinary talents (and stop baking their children elaborate cakes), he buys her a restaurant, a seafood bistro she promptly names “We’ve Got Crabs.”

The Roses are the ultimate odd couple: she’s whimsical, irresponsible and doesn’t take anything seriously; he’s rigid, intense and feels every ounce of the weight of the world on his shoulders. From the jump you can tell they’re a mismatch, but they get each other’s brittle humor, every wisecrack followed with a laugh.

They’re especially out of place with their American friends, who are drawn as caricatures from an outsider’s point of view. Yes, we have a problem with guns in this country, but the average Northern California libs aren’t letting off steam at the shooting range with their pals (it’s a plot contrivance to get a pistol into their home for later). Why Theo and Ivy pal around with this kooky, pretentious group (Andy Samberg, Kate McKinnon, Zoë Chao, Jamie Demetriou) whom they clearly can’t stand is more of a mystery than why their marriage falls apart.

It starts with a storm that destroys Theo’s museum, and sends a San Francisco food critic into Ivy’s clutches. A rave review sets her on the path to foodie superstardom, while a viral video of Theo reacting to the demise of his spectacular building destroys his career in seconds. Even those plot points feel a bit dated, with Ivy’s ascent as a food star marked by hobnobbing with David Chang, and Theo agonizing over remixes and GIFs of his anguish. It all feels behind trend, even if this is a remake of an ‘80s film.

The wit and wordplay never cease, and there’s much pleasure to be drawn from Colman and Cumberbatch spitting McNamara’s contemptuous dialogue with aplomb. But there’s an arch distance from the banter. The crux of the conflict is Theo feeling emasculated as he becomes the caregiver and Ivy the breadwinner. He molds their feral twins into high-performance athletes (Hala Finley and Wells Rappaport) and Ivy feels her children have been stolen from her. There are deep emotional wounds presented but never fully explored as they default to verbal cruelty disguised as “repartee,” but rarely is there any sincerity to sit with.

Their climatic conflict is over the stunning home, designed by Theo, funded by Ivy, in an attempt to save his ego and their union. The actual war is abbreviated, so what we get is the long lead-up to their breakup, and one very memorable scene of Allison Janney as a ferocious divorce lawyer, who goes head to head with Samberg.

In the original film, the story of the Roses and their divorce is presented as a cautionary tale, something to heed. McNamara and Roach have done away with that framing device, replacing DeVito’s divorce attorney with a rancorous couples therapy session. Theo and Ivy love and loathe each other in equal measure, and this is a heightened, cartoonish version of marital resentment, but what’s the takeaway here? If it’s nothing at all, that meaninglessness is impressed upon the audience. If they don’t care, why should we?

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'THE ROSES'

2.5 stars (out of 4)

MPA rating: R (for language throughout, sexual content, and drug content)

Running time: 1:45

How to watch: In theaters Aug. 29

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