ArcaMax

There are two things some of us know about taxes.

The first is that taxes are unfair because, "Hey! I earned that money."

The second is that if we didn't pay ANY taxes, then every government service would be free because if you don't pay for something, then it's free, right?

This is the kind of math that keeps the lottery in business. The people running the lottery don't use that kind of math, but the people buying the tickets do.

Stepping away from dummy math for a while, my first question about "no tax on tips or overtime" is: what makes that money special?

I write this column for money. Why do I have to pay taxes on what I make? Isn't "column money" special?

And, at 68, I'm old. I got my first pay washing dishes in a restaurant when I was 14. That's 54 years of working for money. After that, shouldn't any money I make be "special"?

Every time anyone proposes raising the minimum wage, a great noise is made about how "burger flippers" don't deserve more money because if they want more money, they should get a better job.

So, the person who flips the burger doesn't deserve a raise, but the person who brings the burger to your table shouldn't have to pay taxes on his tips? If the waiter wants more money, the waiter should get a better job, right?

As for overtime, I was an overtime hog on any job I ever worked. Double shifts. Extra shifts. Christmas. Fourth of July.

I expected to pay taxes on my overtime because I paid taxes on my straight time. I had no trouble understanding that math because it was easily accessible to a hammerhead like me.

When I was a full-time newspaper reporter, I used to volunteer for the Martin Luther King Jr. Day overtime almost solely because that holiday coincided with my favorite online shoe store's annual sale. I could get a $400 pair of shoes for about $225, and the overtime just about covered it. Yeah. I had a dream, but in my dream, I was wearing a pair of two-tone Italian loafers with tassels. Martin was a sharp dresser himself, so I figured he'd understand.

I guess the big bet now is what kind of money will be declared "special" in the next election. I already know people my age who say retired people shouldn't pay property tax because "we've paid our share." Maybe veterans shouldn't have to pay taxes at all, or cops, or firefighters. After all, they risk their lives for us.

Rich people money is always "special." If we tax them too much, they'll take away all the jobs. Also, people point out that rich people pay most of the taxes. They also buy ALL the Ferraris.

And there's one more question.

If you're working as a waitress or you're working at Walmart and you stop paying taxes on cash tips and overtime, but you get SNAP benefits to help with groceries, and you're on Medicaid, what happens when SNAP and Medicaid get cut to fill the hole left by the taxes you're not paying?

Do you come out ahead or behind?

That's not dummy math. That's sad math.

Dummy math runs the national debate about government taxing and spending. Sad math runs the casinos, and the house always wins.

To find out more about Marc Dion and read words by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit www.creators.com. Dion's latest book, a collection of his best columns, is called "Mean Old Liberal." It is available in paperback from Amazon.com, and for Nook, Kindle and iBooks.