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How can a 62-pound 8-year-old and a 45-pound 6-year-old command a 1,000-pound Quarter Horse to follow them around an arena, trot and stop without uttering a word? The equine communication session was just one of the magical horsemanship lessons that James and Charlotte, my grandchildren, experienced at Salamander Middleburg Resort, Virginia, 40 miles from Washington, D.C. Even though I have ridden horses for decades, the resort's class gave me a new way of looking at horses and set James and Charlotte up for success as equestrians.

"Participants learn that they can impact the horse by shifting their energy and body language," said Ashley Farrell, Salamander Middleburg's equestrian director. "I show what these mean and also translate what all of the horse's body language cues mean."

When James and Charlotte walked with calm confidence -- shoulders back, arms relaxed -- Doc, the horse, followed them. When the kids increased their energy by waving a flag, Doc increased his energy by trotting around the arena.

"What the class ultimately does for anyone is just give them more self-awareness," Farrell said. "When a person is passive, with their head down, the horse thinks he doesn't need to listen. When the person is too assertive, the horse runs away because that energy is too intense. People learn to be self-aware and mindful."

Salamander Middleburg devotes 25 acres to its equestrian programming, including a 14,000-square-foot stable with 22 stalls, an outdoor arena and nine paddocks.

Distinctive experiences define Salamander Middleburg, a Forbes Five-Star property, recognized for its accommodations, spa and Harrimans Grill restaurant. The resort sprawls on 340 acres of rolling countryside in an area known for its horses, wineries and monied estates. The resort is constructed on the former country property of Pamela Harriman. Middleburg, established in 1787, is that sort of neighborhood.

The stable's mounted lessons proved equally impressive as the communication class. We've found that most one-time horseback classes for children not enrolled in an ongoing program were little more than kids atop horses being pulled around by a guide with a rope. While the youngsters liked sitting high in the saddle, they learned almost nothing.

Not so at Salamander Middleburg. Unless a horse was already saddled, sessions began with James and Charlotte grooming Buddy, including using a hoof pick to remove stones and mud from his hooves. Then the youngsters helped tack up the 800-pound Welsh Gelding, putting on his halter, bridle, saddle and other equipment. Farrell used this time to remind the children of safety rules: no running, no loud noises and no going behind the horse. In the arena, James and Charlotte learned how to handle the reins, guide the horse around cones and over poles, and how to sit a trot. At the end of the day's lessons, the budding equestrians came away confident and proud, rewarded with a medal, ribbon or horseshoe.

There's much to do beyond the stables. James and Charlotte enjoyed the thrill of gliding on the 275-foot-long Kiddo Zip Tour, the last section of a 20-acre adult course. After strapping them into a harness, guide Dylan used a long rope to pull them up the inclined cable. When he let go, the kids whooped with joy. We also strolled the resort's paths, admired the culinary garden and walked in the woods.

My husband and I shared excellent halibut and an Angus filet at Harrimans. The award-winning restaurant evokes a barn with its wood beams, two-story ceiling and iron gates reminiscent of horse stalls. Light floods in from the floor-to-ceiling windows, which provided a good vantage point to watch James and Charlotte play cornhole between courses. Their piece de resistance was dessert -- an ice cream sandwich made of chocolate chip cookies and a unicorn sundae decorated with multicolored sprinkles and crowned with a chocolate.

The next day after lunch at the very good and moderately priced Red Bar Sushi and Best Thai Kitchen in Middleburg, we browsed some shops and admired the scores of historic buildings before returning to the resort. Unlike some luxury properties, Salamander feels comfortable and is kid-, and dog-, friendly. Charlotte liked sitting in front of the fire in the library, a wood-paneled room adorned with 19 representations of horses. The kids counted.

Like many luxury resorts, Salamander Middleburg is pricey. To reduce the cost, we visited midweek after school ended and stayed for just one night but were able to use the facilities for two days. We also scoured the internet for deals. At the time of our visit, the I Prefer Hotel Rewards program, of which Salamander is a member, offered savings on breakfast and a significant amount to cover resort experiences. Signing up for I Prefer is free. We plan to return. The kids have more horsemanship to learn, and we look forward to the spa and exploring local wineries.

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WHEN YOU GO

Visit Middleburg: visitmiddleburgva.com

Salamander Middleburg Resort: salamanderresort.com

Red Bar Sushi and Best Thai Kitchen: redbarsushi.net

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Candyce H. Stapen is a writer at www.greatfamilyvacations.com. Follow her on Instagram @candycestapen Twitter @familyitrips (Candyce H. Stapen), www.facebook.com/FamilyiTrips/ and at www.hennyskids.org, her non-profit that brings solar-powered computers and soccer balls to rural schools in Africa.

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