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Lori Borgman: Method to the basketball madness

Lori Borgman, Tribune News Service on

Published in Mom's Advice

I was one of the first to complete the family NCAA bracket this year. There’s not a chance I’ll win and I’m good with that.

Our son-in-law started the family bracket challenge, which includes his side of the family and our side, 15 years ago.

His side of the family loves sports. His dad even refereed for years.

When you love sports, you make intelligent bracket picks. When you simply like sports, making picks is like throwing pasta against the wall to see what sticks.

I throw pasta.

Here’s the kicker — I’ve somehow won the bracket twice.

I’m not sure how I won, although my husband follows a lot of sports and maybe I unconsciously gleaned a few things from him. Sure, blame the husband.

Once again, I have been reviewing my methods for guiding picks.

The Color Method involves pulling up a bracket list of the teams and selecting winners based on school colors. I choose according to color seasons — this is a palette of colors that every woman knows she wears well. Summer and spring colors contain a lot of yellows. I cannot wear yellow. I am a winter: black, white, jade, ruby, sapphire — all the gemstones. Teams with yellow are out.

 

Another strategy is the Vacation Pick. If I’ve been to the team’s state and had an enjoyable time, the team advances. Michigan and Tennessee are frequent picks.

There’s also the Our Kids and Our Money tactic. If any of our kids attended a school in the playoffs, the school automatically advances.

The Home Sweet Home method tips the ball to a team if any member of our family has ever lived there. This puts Nebraska, Missouri, Illinois, Oregon, Ohio, Indiana, North Carolina, Oklahoma, Kansas, Texas and New Jersey in the pool.

Perhaps the most popular method is the Stuffie Pick. Teams are chosen based on whether a mascot would make a cuddly stuffie. We still have grands clinging to stuffies. The College of William and Mary’s griffin, a mythical creature with the head and wings of an eagle and the body of a lion, is an obvious no. Nor do bird mascots with sharp beaks have a high cuddly quotient. Go ahead, call “fowl” but it’s true. On the other hand, South Dakota’s Jack the Jackrabbit with big floppy ears is a slam dunk.

This year, I picked Louisville to go all the way to the Final Four. We were there recently with my brother and his wife. We stayed at the Brown Hotel, wandered through an architectural salvage place that spanned two blocks, ate breakfast at a hole-in-the-wall diner frequented by jockeys and took an amazing distillery tour. My gut told me Louisville was a win.

Louisville was out in the first round.

Oh, the madness of it all.


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