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The Middle Ground to Happiness

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If you trust surveys (and if you are an American, of course, you do not), you may be surprised to learn that we, as a nation, are a group of unhappy people.

The World Happiness Report, released recently, shows that the U.S. is the 24th happiest nation, continuing a steady decline from its highest point of 11th place in 2012. The data shows we think we don't have much control over our lives and that we believe corruption is endemic in our government. About a fourth of Americans reported eating every meal alone the day before, and our healthy life expectancy is down.

It's sad, and we know it.

So how does a country full of people obsessed with wellness, fulfillment and self-care wind up depressed and lonely?

We're freely and rapidly "disconnecting" anyone we deem toxic -- even and sometimes especially relatives -- and diagnosing everyone from our ex-boyfriends to our best friends as pathological narcissists. We're having fewer children than ever before and working from home more often than we would have dreamed 10 years ago.

We're polarized, demonizing those on the other side of the political spectrum, and retreating into caves where the only sounds we hear are the echoes of our own voices.

We're over-medicated and under-socialized, constantly on a razor's edge of fury at anyone who disappoints us with their bad driving, their poor service or their insufficient friendliness.

We can live our lives entirely free of human interaction, having our food, drinks, medicine, clothes and furniture sent to our houses the same day we order them. We don't even have to answer the door and look the deliveryman in the eye.

If there's a way out of this morass, perhaps it's first by redefining our expectations -- downward.

Consider this, from the happiest country in the world, Finland, where the average yearly temperature is in the 30s and 40s and parts of the nation go weeks without sunlight in the winter:

"Happiness for us is maybe being content," said Leena-Kaisa Mikkola, Finland's ambassador to the U.S. during a panel discussion hosted by the Semafor news organization.

Notice she didn't say "happiness is perfection," "happiness is freedom from frustration" or "happiness is bliss." Happiness is just sort of muddling along, mostly OK.

We seem to have set up an insolvable problem in the U.S. where if an experience falls short of perfection, we reject it entirely.

 

Did the restaurant you visited slightly overcook your steak? Write a scathing one-star review on Yelp that excoriates everyone from the host to the dishwasher and soils their reputation forever!

Has a politician voted differently from how you would like them to on one occasion? Never vote for him again!

Has your mother said something judgmental about your career choice? Consider cutting her out of your life entirely!

It has stopped occurring to us that maybe all lives -- even generally good lives -- have their downslopes and that people and things -- even generally good ones -- have flaws. We are less likely than ever to lump it. We cut bait the moment we're bored, annoyed or angered.

I'd argue for a more measured approach to life, a more patient take. We can be momentarily disappointed but continue to see the value in an experience or a person. We can view satisfaction not as coming from an A+ grade, but from a solid C.

Watch a Hallmark Christmas movie sometime if you want to know the contentment that can arise from solid C entertainment.

Abraham Lincoln is often quoted as saying "Most folks are about as happy as they make up their minds to be," and that seems fair to me.

If we want to be happier as a nation, the first step might be rethinking the end goal. What if we were all "just OK"? What if that were fine?

Mediocrity is no threat.

If we can sit in that vast middle ground of "just OK," if not with bliss, then at least with acceptance, the result may be closer to happiness than we ever would have guessed.

To learn more about Georgia Garvey, visit GeorgiaGarvey.com.

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Copyright 2025 Creators Syndicate Inc.

 

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