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Q: With a recent change in my job, I'm finally going to be able to spend more time with my family. My kids aren't used to having Dad home much. How can I build and keep up relational momentum with them?

Jim: One of most helpful building blocks to reinforce a strong relationship with our children involves discovering new interests and activities together -- and making memories in the process.

A good way to start is by trying new experiences with your children where you have to rely on one another. Some families love going to escape rooms. Visit museums and try their prepared scavenger hunts (or create your own). If you're stuck at home, play challenging games that require teamwork. Research something and co-write a report about it. When in doubt, read a book together.

Attend a sporting event; take a cooking class; ride horses at an equestrian center; try rock climbing ... the possibilities are endless. Obviously, some kids are a little more cautious and may need a "nudge" to be more adventurous. So be sure to explore activities that fit their individual personalities and interests. But get creative. And take LOTS of photos so you can look back and relive the memories together.

Whatever activities you do, let one underlying principle guide you. It's crucial for the parent-child relationship to be based on unconditional love and acceptance. Kids need mom and dad to be their biggest cheerleaders, affirming them when they succeed and encouraging them when they come up short. Love, approval and verbal affirmation are all crucial ingredients to a healthy relationship. Not only will your children be more apt to step out and try new activities, but your relationship will flourish when they know you're completely with them.

So, no matter the circumstances, keep finding things you can learn and do together. For more ideas to help your kids thrive, see FocusOnTheFamily.com.

Q: My wife and I got married this past spring. This is our first holiday season together, and I'm shocked at how stressed she's getting about Thanksgiving dinner. My family never made a big deal of it. What am I supposed to do?

Dr. Greg Smalley, Vice President, Marriage & Family Formation: A large part of marriage is learning to adapt and collaborate. One of the first areas where many couples need to apply this in practice is when the holidays roll around.

You've already noted that the differences in how you and your wife were raised make a tangible impact on how you each see this issue. It sounds like perhaps she comes from a family that invests elaborate preparation and effort into this social gathering. Maybe it's the one time when all the relatives get together -- that could be good or bad, depending on the dynamics. Meanwhile, in contrast, maybe your family takes the approach that some turkey, football and a good nap equate to a satisfying holiday for all concerned.

The important thing is to talk about it. Then look for a win-win solution. You and your wife are on the same team. Teams win or lose together. So, find a solution you both feel good about. If she finds real fulfillment in preparing and hosting a classic Thanksgiving meal, invite friends and family over and make a day of it. But if she's feeling pressure to match Grandma's epic culinary extravaganzas, reassure her that your love for her doesn't depend on the size of the feast.

Make the time to work on the solution as a team. Maybe some years leftovers will suffice, and other years you can step up the celebration. Pro Tip: you should definitely help in the kitchen -- or at least with the cleanup.

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Jim Daly is a husband and father, an author, and president of Focus on the Family and host of the Focus on the Family radio program. Catch up with him at jimdalyblog.focusonthefamily.com or at Facebook.com/JimDalyFocus.

Copyright 2025 Focus On The Family. (This feature may not by reproduced or distributed electronically, in print or otherwise without written permission of Focus on the Family.)

COPYRIGHT 2025 Andrews McMeel Syndication. This feature may not be reproduced or distributed electronically, in print or otherwise without the written permission of Andrews McMeel Syndication.