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Q: My kids' friends are all excitedly talking about their families' summer vacation plans. Unfortunately, we're in a tight spot and can't do anything substantial. I know my children are disappointed. How can I make it up to them?

Jim: One of the best lessons I've ever learned about parenting happened when my now-adult sons were in elementary school. I headed out on a road trip with one of them and my brother to pick up a fifth-wheel trailer I'd purchased online. Nine hundred miles from home, my truck broke down on the highway. We were stranded. The repairs cost a lot of money -- and four days of my vacation time.

I'll admit, I was frustrated and miserable. We were stuck in a small hotel and had to eat every meal at the same restaurant next door. By the time my truck was fixed, we just headed straight back home instead of taking the scenic route as I'd planned.

I remember pulling onto the highway, still ruminating about how terribly the trip had gone. That's when my then-seven-year-old son turned to me with a huge smile and said, "Thanks, Dad. That was a great vacation -- one of the best ever!"

I had been upset all week about how my plans had literally gone off the road. But my son just wanted to spend time together. The stuff we did wasn't nearly as important as who he was with.

My boy taught me a valuable lesson that day. And I think in the long run, your children will feel the same way. What we do isn't nearly as important as who we're with -- the people we love -- while we do whatever.

So, get creative. Brainstorm as a family, looking for fun and affordable things to do together close to (or at) home. Then make the most of those precious moments together.

Q: I heard another parent mention "Hikikomori." What is that?!?

Adam Holz, Plugged In: Loneliness today is an epidemic. And despite the omnipresence of social media to connect us with others, a small percentage of people feel so deeply disconnected from others that they no longer want to leave home.

The Japanese coined the term "hikikomori" in the late 1980s to describe those who experience such extreme social withdrawal. Most are males between the ages of 15 and 34 who live at home with their parents. They often struggle with psychiatric disorders such as depression, social anxiety, schizophrenia and avoidant personality disorder, as well as potentially being on the autism spectrum.

Interestingly, countries with higher rates of internet access also correlate with higher percentages of extreme social withdrawal. Internet access aids and abets this condition's tendencies, providing a way for some to work remotely, as well as enabling continual online distraction. With parents to provide food and shelter, hikikomori sufferers may never have to leave the house and learn how to relationally function in the broader world.

At the root of hikikomori, experts believe, is a crisis of confidence. Strugglers feel overwhelmed by the expectations of the "real world," in terms of vocation and relationships. Crippling insecurity, in part, bars them from taking healthy risks to forge a life in the world around them.

Obviously, not every moody teen boy playing games will develop this condition. But parents who notice teens withdrawing further and further into relational isolation, and who demonstrate an unwillingness to engage socially, can come alongside their sons by giving them space to talk about their anxieties and insecurities. Inviting those with this issue to do simple household chores, even something as simple as doing the dishes, can boost their confidence levels and begin to pave the way for reintegration into the broader world.

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Jim Daly is a husband and father, an author, and president of Focus on the Family and host of the Focus on the Family radio program. Catch up with him at jimdalyblog.focusonthefamily.com or at Facebook.com/JimDalyFocus.

Copyright 2025 Focus On The Family. (This feature may not by reproduced or distributed electronically, in print or otherwise without written permission of Focus on the Family.)

COPYRIGHT 2025 Andrews McMeel Syndication. This feature may not be reproduced or distributed electronically, in print or otherwise without the written permission of Andrews McMeel Syndication.