Thanks to the wonderful values instilled in me at Saint Michael’s College in Colchester, Vermont, where I graduated magna cum lager, I do not (as yet) have a criminal record.

But I do have a happy marriage because my wife, Sue, also went to St. Mike’s and recently accompanied me to our 50th reunion, where we saw dozens of cheery classmates, reminisced about our crazy antics and met the college’s new president, Dr. Richard Plumb, a gregarious and impressive man who not only listened politely to my stupid jokes and outlandish stories, but kindly refrained from revoking my diploma.

The reunion was a golden opportunity to spend time with our great friends Tim and Jane Lovelette. Tim was the ringleader behind the best pranks pulled by the notorious Class of 1975.

On the advice of my attorney, who is in jail, I can’t go into details, but I can say that the high jinks sometimes involved live snakes.

Tim married Jane, who went to nearby and now closed Trinity College, in 1974, between junior and senior years. They recently celebrated their 51st wedding anniversary.

“Jane says I’m better than nothing,” Tim told me.

“I told Sue that I’m like crabgrass: She can’t get rid of me,” I said.

“Sue hasn’t had to put up with you for as long as Jane has had to put up with me,” Tim said, noting that Sue and I have been married for only 47 years.

But Tim and I are still the picture of immaturity, even though we couldn’t repeat a prank we pulled at a previous reunion by sneaking into the pictures of all the celebrating classes.

This time, we didn’t pull it off because it was raining and photos of classes that graduated in years ending in zero or five were moved to the chapel, where we might have been struck by lightning. Not only that, but we were late for our class photo.

“Maybe they can Photoshop us in,” I suggested.

“They probably Photoshopped us out of the ones at that other reunion,” said Tim.

We also appeared in a photo at a previous reunion holding a Saint Michael’s banner — upside down.

“That’s when you were voted Alumnus of the Year,” I reminded Tim.

“You nominated me,” he recalled.

“If they only knew,” I said.

The highlight of the 50th reunion was the Golden Knights Dinner, where two memorable things happened: I asked the president of the college to dance and our class photo was retaken — with me and Tim in it.

As we were finishing our meal, which was delicious, President Plumb came over to our table and urged us to get up and dance. I got up, went over to him and said, “Would you like to dance?”

“Wouldn’t you rather dance with your wife?” he wondered.

Instead, I danced with Terri Selby, the school’s associate vice president for institutional advancement, who not only could be on “Dancing With the Stars” (I’d be on “Dancing With the Stiffs”), but did a fabulous job in coordinating the reunion, which honored 10 classes.

The next evening we attended the P-Knight Party, where I met Mike the Knight, the school’s costumed mascot, so named because the athletic teams are called the Purple Knights.

“Are you a good Knight?” I asked. “I had a lot of good nights when I went here. I can’t remember most of them.”

I also was happy to see so many nice people, including two fellow journalists: classmate John Kennedy and his wife, Mary Ellen Klas, who didn’t go to St. Mike’s but fit right in.

At the Farewell Breakfast the next morning, I thanked President Plumb for a wonderful weekend and for seeing to it that all the “Wanted” posters of me were taken down.

“The statute of limitations has expired,” he assured me.

As we were leaving, Marybeth Sonski Marquardt, a member of the Class of 1980, took a photo of me, Sue, Tim and Jane. Tim and I were holding a Saint Michael’s banner — upside down.

“A fitting way to end the reunion,” Tim said.

I nodded and stated the obvious: “We’re still crazy after all these years.”

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