Whether you're navigating first-date logistics or attempting to decide dating app behavior, dating today comes with a thousand tiny decisions that can leave you second-guessing.

I get these kinds of questions all the time, so here’s a roundup of real scenarios — with my unfiltered takes — on how to handle them. Spoiler: None of these situations are as big of a deal as they might feel in the moment.

1. Question: He suggested 8 p.m. Friday at a busy bar in town, first date. Is it bad/wrong if I recommend an earlier time?

Answer: Of course it’s OK! You can simultaneously be appreciative of someone’s suggestion but also offer a counter suggestion.

“That’s a great spot – appreciate the suggestion! I know it gets a little crowded on Friday nights, so would you be able to meet a little earlier, say 6:30 p.m.?”

Honestly, it’s so not a big deal!

2. Question: How do I trust he is deleting the apps after the “becoming exclusive” conversation?

Answer: If you don’t trust the very person you just became exclusive with, why did you become exclusive with him? Seriously, think about that.

Also, did you explicitly discuss deleting the apps? Simply deleting the app from your phone does not delete your profile, by the way.

If you didn’t discuss it explicitly, then we can’t expect him to know that’s what you want. Make sure you include everything you want in this conversation so you don’t leave with questions like this.

3. Question: 2 hours distance and they decided they can’t do it. Great connection. Remain friends and keep in touch?

Answer: No matter how great the connection is, and I believe you that it’s great, if someone decides that they can’t do it (whatever the “it” is in the scenario), we have to believe them. I think you would only be keeping in touch or staying friends hoping this person will change their mind. I wouldn’t keep that door open. I understand that it’s hard to find a great connection, but more important than the connection is someone’s willingness and ability to pursue things, and unfortunately, that isn’t happening here.

4. Question: How last minute is too last minute to accept a dinner date?

Answer: I don’t believe in games. If you are available and want to go on the dinner date, go on the dinner date. But you can also express the desire for planning in advance in the future.

5. Question: What is a polite way to respond to “So what’s wrong with you?”

Answer: Why are you so worried about being polite when the question itself is so rude? We need to wipe this from our brains, that we always need to be nice to people even when they are not nice to us.

This is a non-subtle rude question. (Its subtle sister question is, “How/why are you still single?”) I personally would not even engage. If you must, I sometimes enjoy playing dumb so that people can double down on what they’re actually saying. (Insert evil laugh)

“I’m not sure I understand what you’re asking.”

6. Question: Guy plans date — yay! He plans it close to where he lives, and I’m 30 minutes away. I’m annoyed. Should I say something?

Answer: Of course say something!

“I’d love to meet a bit closer to me if that works for you. I’m open to your suggestions, or I’m happy to throw out some places.”

That said, I do think it gives you information about someone when they choose a place in their backyard with no regard for how long it will take you to get there. It’s quite selfish.

Dating is full of little moments where we wonder if speaking up will rock the boat. But advocating for yourself — even in small ways — isn’t just allowed, it’s necessary. Whether it’s about timing, trust or calling out someone’s rudeness, you get to steer the ship of your own dating experience.

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