Friend Can't Afford Annual Vacation This Year
DEAR HARRIETTE: I want to take a vacation with my best friend, but I don't have the money to do so right now, and I feel incredibly embarrassed about it. We typically take a trip together every year, and it's something we both look forward to because it helps us reconnect and make memories. This year, however, everything is different: I lost my job a few months ago and had to take another job that pays a lot less just to stay afloat.
I've been avoiding the vacation conversation because I don't want her to think I'm unreliable or that I don't care about our tradition. The truth is, I'm barely keeping up with my bills, and a vacation just isn't possible. I'm worried she'll be disappointed or think less of me. I've even thought about trying to put the trip on a credit card, but I know that would make my situation worse.
I'm torn between being honest with my friend and trying to save face. I keep practicing the conversation in my head, but every version makes me embarrassed. I want to handle this in a way that protects both our friendship and my dignity. How should I tell my friend that I can't go on a trip this year? -- No Vacay
DEAR NO VACAY: If your friend truly is your "best friend," she should understand. Tell her the truth: This has been a tough year for many people, including you. Your friend needs to know right away that you cannot take the trip. This will give her a chance to change her plans. Admit that you are embarrassed and disappointed in your circumstances right now. Obviously, you wanted to honor your tradition, but you have to pass this year. The end.
DEAR HARRIETTE: I need a new job. I have been working hard at my current job for several years now, but I am grossly underpaid. I know that my company is suffering due to the impact of the tariffs and what they are calling "DEI cutbacks," but the reality is that my salary is low but the work remains intense. I need to make more money -- and fast. Don't get me wrong: I love what we do, but I need more income in order to survive. I also love my boss and know he's trying his best, but it's just not enough. What should I do? -- Ready To Quit
DEAR READY TO QUIT: For many companies, this year has been a challenge financially. Yes, the new policies that have been put in place by the federal government have impacted many businesses, the fallout of that is not fully known yet. Does that mean you should leave your job? You certainly can look around to see if there are more lucrative opportunities, but do so discreetly and with care. I believe in abundance, which fundamentally means that there is enough to go around for everyone. It's not always easy to find, though. Is there any way that you can help the company where you currently work differently so that they can get back on their feet? At the same time, keep your eyes open for part-time supplementary work as well as companies that may be more financially secure and able to pay a healthier wage.
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(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)
Copyright 2025, Harriette Cole
COPYRIGHT 2025 Andrews McMeel Syndication. This feature may not be reproduced or distributed electronically, in print or otherwise without the written permission of Andrews McMeel Syndication.
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