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DEAR HARRIETTE: My neighbor's young son has developed a habit of coming into my yard and picking flowers for his mom from my garden, which is right on the border of our two lawns. She always laughs and says how sweet it is when he hands them to her, but I can't help feeling frustrated. I've spent countless hours planting, watering and tending to those flowers, not to mention the money I've invested in making my garden something I'm proud of. At first, I tried to brush it off as an innocent gesture, but it's been happening regularly, and now entire sections of my garden are looking sparse. I don't think the boy realizes he's doing anything wrong, but his mom certainly should. I want to say something before the season is ruined, but I also don't want to come across as the cranky neighbor who scolds kids. How can I ask her to stop letting him pick my flowers while still being kind and neighborly? -- Don't Pick the Flowers

DEAR DON'T PICK THE FLOWERS: The mistake you made was not saying something the first time. This child has no way of knowing what he did was wrong, and because you didn't say anything, his mother may think that you don't have a problem with him picking your flowers.

It is time for you to speak up. Talk to the boy's mom. Tell her that you know you should have said something right away, but you must tell her now that you do not want her son to pick your flowers. It's great for him to admire them and show them to her, but you spend hours of time and lots of money to build your garden, and you do not want it to be picked. Perhaps you can offer for him to help you water the flowers sometimes or otherwise participate a bit in the gardening experience so he can learn the value of preserving and growing the garden.

DEAR HARRIETTE: Last week, I came home to find my neighbor standing on my porch holding an Amazon package addressed to me. When I asked why she had it, she said she "thought it was hers" because she ordered an item off of Amazon and was notified that it was delivered today, but she didn't see the package on her porch. The thing is, my packages are clearly labeled with my name and address, and hers are typically not left on my porch. I want to believe it was an honest mix-up, but something about her reaction felt off. She seemed flustered and avoided eye contact, and this isn't the first time I've had a package go missing. Now I'm wondering if she's been taking them all along and only got caught this time. I hate the idea of accusing a neighbor without solid proof, but I also don't want to ignore it if she's stealing from me. Should I take her at her word and let it go, or report it to the police before it happens again? -- Is She a Thief?

DEAR IS SHE A THIEF?: Inform your neighbor that if she believes a package was misdelivered, the correct protocol would be to call you and ask if you've seen it. To prevent future "misunderstandings," install a motion-activated camera at your front door to observe everyone who steps onto your property. In this way, you will be able to see for yourself if she or anyone else steals from you. Then you can confront her or call the police.

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(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

Copyright 2025, Harriette Cole

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