ArcaMax

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I was at the head of a line to vote; the precinct wasn't crowded, and no one's wait was long. The precinct volunteer encountered a problem that prompted her to seek help, and I spent my wait looking at the floor rather than staring in her direction, not wanting her to misinterpret my gaze as annoyance (the wait was no big deal...Read more

DEAR MISS MANNERS: As part of my job as a news reporter, I spend a great deal of time on the telephone. The conversations I have require a lot of concentration. Often, I have been waiting all day to hear from someone and am up against a strict deadline when he or she finally calls. I must answer when the phone rings.

Many times, other members ...Read more

DEAR MISS MANNERS: Due to a computer meltdown earlier this year, I had to rebuild my holiday greeting card address list. When I asked my mother-in-law to share her list from that side of the family, I was flummoxed to find that she addresses her cards as "Mr. and Mrs. Husband's Name" -- e.g., John and Jane Smith would be addressed as "Mr. and ...Read more

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I had cancer last year and lost my hair. I'm fine now, but my hair is growing back super curly. Every day, people make comments about it: "Oh, your hair! It's so curly!"

It's a painful reminder when I'm trying to feel normal again. I've tried explaining that I'm upset about my looks and don't like to be reminded, but then ...Read more

DEAR MISS MANNERS: My signature perfume is a well-known -- and expensive -- classic scent. For my last birthday I received not one, but two generous gifts of this perfume: one from a dear lifetime friend and another from a beloved cousin. Both live a long distance from me; we rarely meet face to face.

The problem is, both were knockoffs. I know...Read more

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I got married at an early age, but the marital bliss was short-lived as my wife died a few years later. That was 20 years ago, and I have since built a new, happy life for myself.

In this new life, I have never had any desire to embark on another long-term relationship, let alone remarry. I enjoy being on my own, although I ...Read more

DEAR MISS MANNERS: At several gatherings with friends and family, the food is blessed by holding hands during a prayer -- after I have already washed mine in preparation for eating.

Holding hands defeats the purpose of washing them, but I don't know how to avoid it during the prayer. Refraining from holding hands, or immediately rewashing right...Read more

DEAR MISS MANNERS: My home has an open floor plan with the kitchen, living room and dining area all combined. This leads to guests meandering through the kitchen area while we're preparing food.

No approach I have used has been successful to deter this. How do I approach my dear aunt at Thanksgiving, who is a repeat offender? She hovers over ...Read more

DEAR MISS MANNERS: My 30-year-old cousin is getting married, and my relatives believe she is doing everything wrong. In fact, a growing list of the bride-to-be's "inappropriate" wedding choices has become the family's favorite topic, especially among the 65+ ladies (all discussed behind my cousin's back, of course).

The specific crimes my ...Read more

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I am a high school senior who usually sits with my friend Oliver in English class. I've known him for about a year and we get along very well and hang out outside of school since we only have one class together.

We don't actually talk much in this class. I've noticed he has difficulty focusing so he can't be distracted from ...Read more

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I've encountered a lot of fuss about the pervasiveness of the nonapology: e.g., "I'm sorry you're so sensitive" or "I'm sorry you feel that way."

But what is one to say to acknowledge another's injury, while reinforcing that you are NOT sorry and fully stand by your actions? Particularly in a social setting in which silence ...Read more

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I have a very close friend I have known for a long time. I enjoy seeing her and her husband. However, whenever we go out to dinner, she always tells me to make the restaurant reservation, as supposedly I know all the places to go to.

Once we are at the restaurant, she always complains about the food. Last time, there were not...Read more

DEAR MISS MANNERS: My husband and I have added a dog to our family. We tried to work with many different animal shelters and rescues, but it just did not work out for us to go that route.

We also did a lot of research on getting a dog from reputable breeders, but we couldn't afford any of them. We ended up purchasing a dog from what some would ...Read more

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I work at a nonprofit that prides itself on being all-volunteer, with no boss. Decisions are made at monthly meetings. Having worked 35 years at a job with bosses, I understand that dynamic better.

With this volunteer group, it seems everyone is in charge, and personal feelings are expressed frequently. When a decision is ...Read more

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I have hired a cleaning woman, and she needs money to save for a newer automobile. She has no family in town, so I'm thinking about asking her to work on Thanksgiving by serving us and cleaning up at the family dinner.

She has opened up to me about very private details of her life, so I feel like I know her on a more personal...Read more

DEAR MISS MANNERS: At a dinner event I attended at a hotel, the tables were 10-foot rounds with tablecloths that went to the floor. The dinner was buffet style, but we were all wearing semi-formal attire.

The woman sitting next to me pulled the tablecloth up from the floor and set it on her lap, proudly saying that she wasn't going to get any ...Read more

DEAR MISS MANNERS: A genteel, proper tea at a traditional hotel requires one to sit demurely at a table too diminutive for any other posture, while awaiting the arrival of the scones, cream and jam. These are followed by the finger sandwiches, then by miniature pastries, whilst sipping from cups of tea before, during and after each course. (Only...Read more

DEAR MISS MANNERS: What is the polite way to eat large sushi rolls? Sometimes they're too big to comfortably eat whole without gagging!

GENTLE READER: Dissect them.

Miss Manners does not usually condone deconstructing food in public, but these are desperate times. Use your chopsticks to pull out the insides and eat them separately. Then either...Read more

DEAR MISS MANNERS: My husband and I are disagreeing on what a proper RSVP is. I sent out digital invitations for my son's birthday party and requested people RSVP to me. Many of his family members "liked" the digital invitation, but did not specifically respond as to whether or not they were attending.

I told my husband that no one from his ...Read more

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I am a divorced woman with no nearby family, so I am often invited to the homes of various close friends on holidays. Last year, I was invited to a Thanksgiving with about 30 people.

Upon receiving the invite, I offered to bring a couple of homemade pies. The hosts replied that they would instead like me to bring SIX bottles ...Read more