ArcaMax

DEAR MISS MANNERS: We have been invited to the wedding of a very good friend's son. When I went online to RSVP, it said, "Attire: evening cocktail -- slacks, cocktail dresses, jackets, etc."

We never wear that kind of clothing, even to funerals. We always look nice, though! We don't want to spend money on clothing that we will never wear again,...Read more

DEAR MISS MANNERS: About 25 years ago, I was in a "moms of preschoolers" group. I knew some women better than others, but I considered all of them part of my larger friend group.

As our kids grew up, we stayed somewhat in touch, forming smaller groups, but those broke up during the pandemic. I haven't seen most of these women since 2020.

One ...Read more

DEAR MISS MANNERS: My daughter married a wonderful man, and I happily support their union. My son, however, is about to marry a young lady whom I really can't stand.

She tells my son wicked, untrue things about me, and almost alienated him from me. She insists that I treat him like a child instead of a grown man, which I can assure you I do not...Read more

DEAR MISS MANNERS: My brother is intelligent, educated, well-spoken and has a responsible job. He is also openly racist, misogynistic and homophobic -- all for religious reasons, of course.

To his credit, he never brings these subjects up, but if they do come up, he's not at all bashful about articulating his bigoted views. His response to ...Read more

DEAR MISS MANNERS: Due to the small size of our home, we host two holiday parties each year, essentially splitting one big gathering into two events so that we can see everyone.

We send different invites to separate guest lists. It is always a little uncomfortable when friends talk to each other and wonder why one of them was invited on this ...Read more

DEAR MISS MANNERS: A friend whom I very much treasured has ceased to be my friend.

After 12 years of travel adventures, Saturday afternoons at markets, deep conversations over coffee, visiting each other several times a year (after she moved 1,000 miles away) and helping each other with projects, she started distancing herself from me.

I asked...Read more

DEAR MISS MANNERS: My daughter was recently part of a wedding party, acting as a flower girl for a relative of my ex-husband. My ex and I were still married when the bride asked for my permission for this, and I agreed.

Later, she asked me for a photo of my daughter to put on a wedding website. Concerned about privacy for my young daughter, I ...Read more

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I'm a man who is 6-foot-6 and 62 years old. My entire life, I have found myself bent in half when greeting women for whom a welcome hug is appropriate. My aunties, cousins, sisters and any number of others might throw their arms up, initiating a hug.

When women (of any age) hug me, they always want to put their arms above my ...Read more

DEAR MISS MANNERS: My wife and I host an annual holiday dinner for a group of neighbors, one of whom has asked in the past if he could bring a guest. My wife, on our behalf, has always said yes.

Unfortunately, the guest is usually the neighbor's on-again/off-again boyfriend, who is best described as obnoxious. During dinner, our neighbor ...Read more

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I am hosting Thanksgiving dinner this year for about 25 people. Most are traveling in from out of town. I have expressed that people do not need to bring anything, and I mean it.

I've gotten negative reactions from people who say I'm not being helpful. Is part of being a good host providing ideas for what everyone can bring? ...Read more

DEAR MISS MANNERS: My 4-year-old daughter has a June birthday, and we have a party for her with family every year. Due to her birthday being in the busy summer season, my brother and his family have not ever been to her birthday party.

They do not acknowledge her with a phone call, a card or a gift. This bothers me, as I think she is a ...Read more

DEAR MISS MANNERS: My brother died of a sudden heart attack while having dinner with friends. One of his friends called me and I headed straight to the hospital, but it was too late.

Someone at the hospital gave me a bag of my brother's belongings, which I took home and stuck in a closet while I dealt with calling family and friends, consoling ...Read more

DEAR MISS MANNERS: Person A lost his wife after nearly 65 years of marriage. On what would have been their wedding anniversary a few weeks later, Person B texted Person A to say, "I'm thinking of you on your anniversary."

Person A wrote back and said, "Thank you -- it was a hard day, and I appreciate you thinking of me." Person B texted back, "...Read more

DEAR MISS MANNERS: My friend and I both have baby girls: Hers is about 6 months old, and mine is 3 months. She has given me a whole bunch of her little girl's clothes -- such a high volume of items that some still had the tags on.

My friend began offering me these clothes before I'd even had my baby; I initially refused, multiple times, because...Read more

DEAR MISS MANNERS: My friends, all gainfully employed adults, will often invite a group out to dinner or drinks to celebrate an occasion, like a birthday or professional milestone.

In some cases, it's communicated that it will be a "no-host event," with guests paying for themselves. If not, it's understood that the host will treat the group.

...Read more

DEAR MISS MANNERS: My daughter is a talented chef. She has a job cooking for a family of four. They appreciate her food, are not too terribly picky, and pay better than her former thankless jobs in "hospitality."

The problem is that their kitchen is simply one area of a large, open family space. A lot of her prep work is done at an island, ...Read more

DEAR MISS MANNERS: How should I address ChatGPT? I deal with this creation every day. It responds to my questions and requests in a friendly, chatty manner. Its responses seem almost human.

Am I required to say "hello" to it before I begin? Must I say "please" when asking my questions? Must I thank it afterwards?

Or is it acceptable to treat ...Read more

DEAR MISS MANNERS: When I take my sons to the pediatrician or call to make an appointment, the receptionist or nurse always calls me Mom. I give them my name, but they never use it, and continue to call me Mom.

I love being a mom, don't get me wrong. And I love my sons. But this drives me bananas. I'm not these people's mom!

Am I overreacting?...Read more

DEAR MISS MANNERS: Am I the one who is in the wrong here? When I invited several friends to dinner recently, I was shamed and criticized about what I was serving.

One of my friends invited another guest to join us, and it turns out he is a very strict vegan. I wasn't even aware that he was coming.

Prior to dinner, this fussy/picky guest ...Read more

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I was walking in the humanities building of the university where I am a graduate student. I turned the corner of the hallway that leads to the offices and saw one of my professors lying in the middle of the hall at the bottom of a few steps.

She had two other professors around her, and I could hear that they believed she had ...Read more