ArcaMax

Dear Annie: I am writing about a friendship that has left me hurt and confused. My husband and I have known this couple for many years. He has been our friend for decades, and when he remarried, we welcomed his new wife with open arms. She and I became close quickly; we shopped together, met for coffee and had long phone conversations.

But over time, she grew distant. Calls became shorter, texts turned into nothing but emojis and her warmth seemed to fade. When we moved to Florida, instead of being happy for us, she gave me the silent treatment. Later, when we invited them to visit, things felt fine, but as soon as they left, she pulled away again.

The final straw came when they offered to watch our house while we were away for a month. They never came by once. Our plants died, the thermostat broke, and all I received was a brief "sorry" and a heart emoji. It hurt, especially because we have always been generous with them, even giving away furniture when they needed it.

Since then, she has admitted she is a "bad texter," but nothing has changed. I have tried to keep the friendship alive, but I feel like I am chasing someone who no longer values me. She dismisses my feelings as if I am holding a grudge over one incident, when in reality, this distance has been building for years.

Am I wrong to feel so hurt? Should I confront her, write a letter or simply let this friendship go? I miss the person I thought she was, but I do not recognize her anymore. -- Confused Friend

Dear Confused: You have given this friendship time, energy and generosity. What you have received back is distance and half-hearted replies. It hurts, but it also tells you all you need to know.

Friendship has to go both ways. You cannot keep it alive alone, no matter how much history you share. She has shown you where she stands. The kindest thing you can do for yourself now is to stop chasing and focus on people who value your effort.

Sometimes closure comes not from a letter but from accepting what is. And as Ann Landers would say, it feels wonderful when you stop banging your head against the wall.

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Follow Annie Lane on Instagram at @dearannieofficial. Visit http://www.creatorspublishing.com for more information. Send your questions for Annie Lane to dearannie@creators.com.