Owed Money, Lost Sleep
Dear Annie: I have a close friend I care about a lot, but there's something that's starting to get under my skin -- and I'm not sure if I should say something or let it slide.
Whenever we go out -- whether it's lunch, drinks or concerts -- we usually agree to split the cost. But somehow, I always end up paying more. She's "forgotten her wallet," says she'll Venmo me later or offers to "get the next one," which never really happens.
Most recently, we went out for dinner, and I covered the bill -- nearly $80 -- with the understanding that she'd pay me back for her half. It's been two weeks, and despite a couple of friendly reminders, she hasn't sent me anything. She's posting pictures from another night out and clearly isn't strapped for cash.
I hate to feel petty over money, but it's starting to feel like a pattern of disrespect. Am I being too sensitive? Should I bring it up directly -- or is it better to just let it go for the sake of the friendship? -- Feeling Stuck Between Polite and Broke
Dear Stuck Between Polite and Broke: You're not being too sensitive; you're being taken advantage of.
A real friend doesn't repeatedly "forget" her wallet or promise to pay you back and never follow through. Once or twice might be an oversight. A consistent pattern is called freeloading.
You've already been more than polite. You've given reminders. You've waited. And now you're watching her spend money elsewhere while ignoring what she owes you. That's not just inconsiderate; it's disrespectful.
Yes, you should say something. You don't have to be confrontational, just clear. Try: "Hey, I never got the $40 from dinner the other night. Can you send it this week?" If she brushes you off again or makes excuses, you'll have your answer.
Friendship should never cost you your dignity -- or your budget.
Dear Annie: I'm at my wits' end, and I don't know what to do anymore.
My neighbor's dog barks constantly. I'm not exaggerating; this dog barks from early in the morning until late at night. Sometimes it's a sharp, frantic bark every few seconds. Other times, it's a low, rhythmic bark that just goes on and on. It happens whether someone's outside or not. Rain, snow, sunshine -- he barks. I've started tracking it out of desperation, and some days it's eight to 10 hours of near-constant noise.
I've tried everything I can think of. I spoke to the neighbor kindly the first time, just to make them aware. I followed up weeks later, still politely, when nothing changed. They either dismiss it or say, "He's just a dog." I've tried sound machines, headphones, moving to the other side of the house -- nothing makes a difference. I've even started avoiding being home during the day just to get some peace.
It's wearing me down. I work from home, and the barking has made it nearly impossible to concentrate or have Zoom meetings. I've lost sleep.
At what point is this more than just a frustrating situation -- and what can I realistically do next? I don't want to be "that" neighbor, but I feel like I'm being held hostage by a dog that won't stop barking and an owner who won't take responsibility. -- Going Bonkers Over Barking
Dear Going Bonkers Over Barking: You've been more than patient, and your frustration is completely valid. Constant barking is not just annoying; it's disruptive to your daily life and well-being.
You did the right thing by approaching your neighbor kindly, but since that hasn't helped, it's time to take the next step.
You might also write your neighbor a polite but firm note explaining how serious the issue has become. Let them know you'd rather resolve it peacefully but are prepared to escalate if necessary.
You're not being petty; you're advocating for your right to peace in your own home.
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"How Can I Forgive My Cheating Partner?" is out now! Annie Lane's second anthology -- featuring favorite columns on marriage, infidelity, communication and reconciliation -- is available as a paperback and e-book. Visit http://www.creatorspublishing.com for more information. Send your questions for Annie Lane to dearannie@creators.com.
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