ArcaMax

Dear Annie: My 12-year-old son goes over to his friend's house now and then. His friend lives in a small town that is walking distance to ice cream shops, markets and delis. Whenever my son visits, his friend's mom will ask me to send him with cash for lunch or dinner or Venmo her money.

Whenever we have his friends over, we provide the food for them, as it's the right thing to do.

I feel that, because they live in town, they should either pay for my son if they're going to walk and pick something up or make something at home like I do.

Am I wrong for feeling this way? -- Not Willing to Send Money

Dear Not Willing: It's not the most polite thing to do -- to "charge" someone you're hosting, but if your son weren't over at his friend's house, you would be paying for his meals anyway. You also don't know what their financial situation is; if money is tight, then the alternative would be to not invite your son over at all. Either feed your son before he goes, or send him with cash.

Dear Annie: My daughter is 23 years old. She moved back in with me following a bad, toxic relationship. I told her I would help her. The problem is she doesn't have a driver's license or a job to stand on her own two feet and be independent. She believes going out with some friends she met online is a good start in getting her sadness and depression to go away. I told her she needs to have priorities and real goals because I'm not going to continue helping her financially.

She is not looking for a job, doesn't want to study for the driving test or even get an education. I don't know what else to do. The tools for her are there, but she doesn't want them. She just continues to focus on socializing as the solution to her problems. Any advice? -- "Strict" Mother

Dear Strict Mother: Let me set the record straight: You are not being "strict" in the slightest. Your daughter needs a reality check. She is lucky to have a parent who is as supportive and willing to help her as you are when she is so in need of that help and direction. But that doesn't mean she gets to coast through life on your generosity.

The solution is simple. Either she starts taking steps in the right direction to iron out her life -- getting a job or enrolling in school, becoming a licensed driver -- in your home, or she finds a home of her own.

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"How Can I Forgive My Cheating Partner?" is out now! Annie Lane's second anthology -- featuring favorite columns on marriage, infidelity, communication and reconciliation -- is available as a paperback and e-book. Visit http://www.creatorspublishing.com for more information. Send your questions for Annie Lane to dearannie@creators.com.