I often get questions from friends and potential clients alike: “What are your clients like? How old are they? What kinds of things do they ask you?”

Let me let you in…

My client base is about 70% women and 30% men, ranging in age from mid-20s to mid-70s. But most are in their 30s, 40s and 50s. In general, I believe that women are more conditioned to be able to ask for help more than men are… but my coaching can often be even more helpful to men.

--“Is there a common topic that people most frequently approach you about, and has that changed over time?”

Common topics: profile creation (how to write about yourself in a way that’s unique to you and stands out), messaging on the apps in order to convert the conversations to dates (where a lot of people get stuck) and general communication around dating.

Over time, the questions have definitely skewed more toward, "What do I do if I’m getting ghosted or sense someone fading? How do I text between dates? How do I express/ask for what I want?" In a world that is so fast-paced, especially with texting, people are often jumping to quicker conclusions about the trajectory of their budding relationships, merely in the space of a few hours, rather than seeing how they play out or asking for clarification.

Also, in the last several years, “therapy speak” has reared its head in most every question or situation. There is certainly value in understanding attachment style and words like "gaslighting" or "trauma bonding," for example, but I have found that people are so eager to put labels on things that it actually waters down the actual behavior. For example, people are quick to jump to a diagnosis of anxious attachment when, in reality, it might just be, and often is, a certain action that somebody did to make them feel anxious. I find that really impedes people’s success when they fall back on explaining why they are acting a certain way (“It’s because of my anxious attachment”) versus actually looking inward to the individual situation and trying to change it.

--“Do you think dating advice on social media is useful? Do you ever have clients who refer to dating content they have seen online when they approach you for advice?”

Dating advice on social media can be useful, if it’s coming from the right person. Much like in dating, you have to resonate with the expert you listen to. As someone who has been doing this for 14 years, I certainly have my frustrations with much of the dating advice out there, seemingly for clickbait or to stir feelings up in people. My advice, on the other hand, is grounded in my working with clients, in addition to the fact that I used to be an economist and try to support most of my advice with statistics or facts where I can. I’m never going to break the internet with my advice, which is a good thing, as it mostly comes down to common sense, which people do often lack when they are in the middle of a situation. If someone is seeking to get a rise from people, their advice is probably simply too controversial or way out in left field.

--“Have you noticed a shift in how younger clients think about dating?”

I haven’t necessarily noticed a shift in how younger clients think about singlehood… as in, many still want to meet a partner. Obviously, though, I have a biased subset of people, because most everyone coming to me wants to be in a relationship, but some basics will always be the same: the desire for connection… at any age.

I have, however, noticed that younger generations are more hesitant to put labels on their relationships. I advise everybody to use the word "date" to be intentional about what they’re doing. I often hear people use the words "talking to" to mean anything from simply chatting on a dating app to sleeping with each other and everything in between. Many younger people are also choosing to do what I call a free trial between becoming exclusive and officially adding a relationship label, likely to soften the blow if things don’t work out. The advice I give is not to do this – instead, when you become exclusive, discuss everything that comes with that including what to do with your dating app profiles (pause or delete), what you will call each other (boyfriend, girlfriend, partner, etc), and anything else you might want clarification on.

The best I can do as a coach is to adapt to the changing dating landscape—namely the words and the tools used—but, on the whole, the desire for a relationship that many have remains the same.

©2025 Tribune Content Agency, LLC