Life Advice
/Health
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Asking Eric: Workplace ignored husband’s death
Dear Eric: When I hear of a death in the family of someone I know, I send a sympathy card. I appreciated the many cards I received when my husband died, and one kind friend donated to a charity we support.
But when my mother died two years ago after a long incurable illness, I received just one card from a friend, and only a few verbal ...Read more
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Asking Eric: Self-described people-pleaser fears disappointing therapist
Dear Eric: I’m pretty sure I should seek therapy. As a longtime first responder with probable PTSD, plus recent marital issues and the recent deaths of a number of close loved ones, I feel the need to speak to an unbiased third party.
I’m not comfortable speaking with my spouse or friends because I’m the one they all come to, and they see...Read more
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Asking Eric: Neighbors worry about unlicensed contractors next door
Dear Eric: My husband and I live next door to a family that, when having work done at their house, tends to use low-wage, unlicensed workers. We found out they are getting their driveway repaved.
The men we saw with our neighbor were in an unmarked truck and may not be professional concrete workers. I said to my husband that if they start ...Read more
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Asking Eric: Serial monogamist gets lost in relationships with no time for friendship
Dear Eric: My former best friend and longtime housemate is a serial monogamist and cannot go a couple weeks without being in a long-term relationship, usually having no more than two to three weeks in between very serious relationships.
This friend disappears fully into relationships with people who aren’t good to him, and it's impossible to ...Read more
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Asking Eric: Son shuns parents’ guest at holiday dinner
Dear Eric: My husband and I are seniors. We no longer host Thanksgiving and other holidays, as our youngest son has taken that on willingly. I still prepare a variety of dishes and baked goods which we take to his home.
He has a lovely, blended family now, and everyone converges to enjoy food and time together. It gets very loud, especially ...Read more
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Asking Eric: Newly married couple feuds over loans to gambling friend
Dear Eric: Six months ago, I eloped with a man I had been dating for two weeks. We are now expecting our first child together.
I am a student, and I work part time. He works full time. He has this friend that drinks and gambles. Every night my husband wants to go watch his friend gamble and drink (my husband doesn't really do either).
The ...Read more
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Asking Eric: Friends never initiate social plans
Dear Eric: My wife and I have a fair number of friend groups. We enjoy social gatherings, especially dinners out, with all the groups. But only one or two of the couples ask us out as much as we ask them.
The majority of the other couples only seem to go out with us when we initiate it, although they seem to go out frequently with other mutual ...Read more
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Asking Eric: Grandfather resents family time
Dear Eric: I’ve been with my husband 25 years, married the last seven. We have children from prior marriages, and I have six grandchildren.
He was abused as a child and has worked in therapy to process it, but then stopped. He lost one grandma early and had no bond with his other. I had great grandmas and therefore enjoy the grandparent roles...Read more
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Asking Eric: Friends are trying to keep adult daughter’s boyfriend out of the picture
Dear Eric: Friends of ours, who live on the other side of the country, have a daughter who is a senior in college in the same town we live in. It's not uncommon for the daughter to spend holidays like Thanksgiving, or the occasional weekend, with us.
Occasionally, she brings her boyfriend, whose company we also enjoy. Recently, her mom texted ...Read more
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Asking Eric: Reunited with an old friend, now she wants to tag along on every trip
Dear Eric: I'm stressed out trying to maintain a friendship with someone from high school who reconnected with me a couple of years ago.
We were good friends when we were younger but by the time high school rolled around, I had moved on.
Fast-forward 20 years and we started hanging out again. Girl stuff like going out for lunch. Recently I've ...Read more
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Asking Eric: Husband is completely dependent on spouse to handle problems
Dear Eric: I am a gay male and have been with my husband for many years now, married six of them. Every time an issue comes up, whether it's the landlord knocking on the door or someone else, he comes running to me to deal with it and I am fed up with it. I deal with paying all the bills each month. I work full time just like my husband, and I ...Read more
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Asking Eric: Feuding siblings trap mediator sister in the middle
Dear Eric: I have always been close with my only siblings, my twin sister (67) and our brother (72). But sis and bro have had many issues over the past few years and bro chooses to distance himself from her. I feel like I've always been the family matriarch and arbitrator.
Bro is now in a seniors' home with virtually no funds to speak of. His ...Read more
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Asking Eric: Husband won’t let kids have friends over inside the house
Dear Eric: My husband has told our kids they cannot have any friends inside of our home. They can play in the front yard and that is it. I don't know how to tackle this, or what to say when it's our “turn” to host our kids’ friends. I've been hosting the friends to movies, arcades, etc., but never in our home.
My husband is retired and ...Read more
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Asking Eric: Sisters use pets as excuse for never visiting
Dear Eric: For about 20 years, my husband and I and our two boys, when they were younger, plus a dog, traveled usually by car to visit my sisters. They never visited us. The drive to their state was 14 hours long and was not fun or cheap, but we did it mostly because of my elderly mother who couldn't travel (lived with one sister). I have a fear...Read more
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Asking Eric: Estranged sibling debates attending brother’s funeral after rejection
Dear Eric: My brother and I have been estranged for decades, due to consecutive "family incidents" that accumulated, unresolved, over years.
A little over a year ago, I learned through a mutual friend that my brother has an incurable cancer – the kind that is hereditary and would place me at a significantly elevated risk. I immediately booked...Read more
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Asking Eric: Seniors struggle to make close friendships in new community
Dear Eric: My husband and I are in our 70s and retired to a new community. We are engaged in church ministries and social groups that meet for dinner periodically. I volunteer and he is an avid golfer. My problem is not being able to turn new relationships into meaningful friendships. I have met many wonderful people but have a problem getting ...Read more
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Asking Eric: After seven years, partner still unsure about kids and marriage
Dear Eric, I have been in a seven-year relationship with my partner. We do not have any children together and we are not legally married. I am 36 and he is 39 and I am at the point where I would like to get married and have my own child.
When we first got together, he was very much open to marriage and kids, but it seems that this has changed, ...Read more
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Asking Eric: House guest insists on doing wasteful chore as a ‘thank you’
Dear Eric: We have a dilemma that may seem trivial but it's driving us crazy. We're fortunate enough to have a vacation house on a small island. Water is kind of expensive, relatively. While we love to host extended family, one older relative horns in to do the dishes by hand although we have an excellent dishwasher.
The hot water waste is ...Read more
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Asking Eric: Friend avoiding long-time friend after weight gain
Dear Eric: I've been friends with "Steven" for 40 years. We've dabbled in romance a few times when we were both single, but we always return to the platonic comfort zone. We live in separate states and haven't seen each other for 15 years. We talk on the phone about once a month, and I'm satisfied with that.
Steven, however, continues to press ...Read more