H2Oh, Really?

All water is fundamentally composed of hydrogen and oxygen atoms -- two of the former, one of the latter. But you might think otherwise when perusing grocery store shelves where you can purchase alkaline water, electrolyte water, water with special enhancements and even water associated with being smart.

They all purport to offer specific benefits, but do they really?

"No," says Roger Fielding, a professor of biochemical and molecular nutrition at Tufts University. "There's no physiological basis that there's some metabolic benefit to these specialty waters over just regular, plain old water."

Fielding said added ingredients like electrolytes aren't likely to make any difference inside the human body, and some ingredients can be counterproductive, like added sodium and sugar.

The bigger threat for most people is not consuming enough fluids. The recommendation is roughly 15.5 cups per day for men and 11.5 cups per day for women (though individual needs vary).

"The best fluid replacement that you can probably drink to prevent becoming dehydrated is water," says Fielding. "Water trumps everything, except in maybe some very extreme circumstances."

Body of Knowledge

I'm not recommending you try this, but purportedly if you drink purple Powerade (or any beverage or food containing artificial food dyes Red 40 and Blue 1, your resulting stool may be green.

It's due to a chemical interaction between the dyes and bile, the greenish-yellow fluid produced by the body to aid digestion. The coloration is temporary and harmless, though there are longstanding health concerns about the dyes themselves, and the Food and Drug Administration has moved recently to phase them out.

If your poop is consistently green, however, it might indicate digestive issues like irritable bowel syndrome or intestinal infection.

Counts

32: Percentage of American adults age 20 and older who consume fast food on a given day

11.7: Percentage of daily calories consumed overall by Americans daily that come from fast foods (an actual improvement from previous research), according to "Fast-food Intake Among Adults in the United States, August 2021-August 2023"

Doc Talk

FABIANS: Felt Awful but I'm Alright Now syndrome

Mania of the Week

Etheromania: An obsessive craving for ether, a pleasant-smelling, colorless compound that was once commonly used as an anesthetic but which now is primarily used as a solvent and a starting fluid for engines.

Best Medicine

People with a phobia of elevators should take steps to avoid them.

Observation

"Some things you have to do every day. Eating seven apples on Saturday night instead of one a day just isn't going to get the job done." -- American author and motivational speaker Jim Rohn (1930-2009)

Medical History

This week in 1853, one of the harbingers of ill health (but much happiness) was invented: the potato chip. According to stories, the first potato chips were created at Moon's Lake House in Saratoga Springs, New York. When railroad magnate Cornelius Vanderbilt was dining there, he sent his fried potatoes back to the kitchen, complaining they were "too thick." The irritated chef, George Crum, responded by slicing paper thin strips of potatoes and frying them to a crisp. However, Vanderbilt loved them, and they became an instant success.

Ig Nobel Apprised

The Ig Nobel Prizes celebrate achievements that make people laugh, then think. A look at real science that's hard to take seriously and even harder to ignore.

In 2004, the Ig Nobel Prize in biology went to an international team of scientists for their discovery that herrings apparently communicate by farting. The finding had political import.

In the 1980s and '90s, the Swedish navy conducted submarine hunts, convinced that the Soviet Union was secretly sending vessels into its waters. The Soviets said otherwise, but the Swedes cited several sound recordings of what they contended were foreign submarines. In fact, the sounds may have just been fish passing gas.

Med School

Q: Which has more bones in it: your hand or your foot?

A: Your hand, which has 14 phalanges, or finger bones, five metacarpal bones that make up the middle hand, and eight carpal bones in the wrist for a total of 27 bones. Your foot isn't far behind with 26 bones: 14 phalanges, five metatarsal bones and seven tarsal bones.

Curtain Calls

In 2015, two young men in the Ural Mountains of Russia blew themselves up while holding a hand grenade with the pin pulled out and taking a selfie. The cellphone with the selfie survived to record their fate.

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To find out more about Scott LaFee and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.