Self-Portrait at 36 w/ David
Published in Poem Of The Day
Barnegat Light, New Jersey-April 4, 2015
Because looking at myself w/ out you beside me is unnatural
& though the light is all wrong-your camera slung & up
the light feels right to me, warm & soft, your chest pressed
towards my back, both our heads angling towards the dock,
boat slips on the bay-all the scallops secure in the sea still,
their bone-less bodies soft. & our own getting softer each day.
Sometimes the mirror makes our features fun-house style
& we're way more old age than the teen age we most times feel,
or the slight of shutter promises supple & smooth, where edge
& ravine & straight up wrinkle have arrived & settled in
like vulnerable house guests we don't have the heart to kick out.
How comfortable they've become all over our fine faces
& my neck-how they've become familiar w/ our privacy. How
we've begun to cradle them. Stitch & loom. In the photograph
there we are-chins tilted towards one another, mouths closed
& turned up. A type of satisfaction dead in this middle we're both in.
About this poem
"There is something both jarring and seductive about the aging process-a thrill to be gathering years and moments and history (and hopefully wisdom), but too a railing against the media's constant perception of youth and how to hang onto it. Writing has forever been a balm against all that keeps me awake at night. I look forward to writing the poems that will surely harness all the years to come."
-Ellen Hagan
About Ellen Hagan
Ellen Hagan is the author of "Hemisphere" (Northwestern University Press, 2015). She is the director of the poetry program at the DreamYard Project in New York City.
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The Academy of American Poets is a nonprofit, mission-driven organization, whose aim is to make poetry available to a wider audience. Email The Academy at poem-a-day[at]poets.org.
(c) 2015 Ellen Hagan. Originally published by the Academy of American Poets, www.poets.org. Distributed by King Features Syndicate
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