ArcaMax

When it comes to building a career, there's a lot we can learn from animals (and no, I'm not talking about the IT department.)

Think about it.

No motivation? Be as busy as a bee. Thinking of jumping ship? Be as loyal as a pair of penguins. Looking for a role model? You can't do better than 1,200-pound brown bear No. 32, known to his many admirers as "Chunk."

In case you haven't been following the news, Chunk is the winner of the 2025 contest for the fattest bear in Alaska's Katmai National Park and Preserve. This is no minor accomplishment. To get to the top of the fat bear org. chart, Chunk had to pull enough salmon out of the Brooks River to beat 12 hungry competitors, including the awesome Grazer, the female who has held the fat bear title for the past two years, embodying the heft of a sumo wrestler and the fury of a UFC champion.

And you think dethroning your manager would be tough.

I learned about Chunk and Grazer and all the other hirsute competitors in "Dominant in the River: 32 Chunk Crowned Champion in biggest Fat Bear Week Yet," a Lois Beckett article for The Guardian.

Chunk's rise to the position of top bear is not simply a matter of achieving a title. For Chunk, success in his job is a matter of survival. In this respect, Chunk is just like you.

"A fat bear means a successful bear," says Katmai park ranger Ashleigh Monaco. "A fat bear is more likely to survive hibernation."

You see the parallel. Here's how to do it in four easy steps.

No. 1: Overcome the Obstacles in Your Path

No nepo-baby bear, getting to the top was not a gimme for Chunk, who arrived in the park in June with a freshly broken jaw. It's the kind of setback that would end a career for a lesser bear, but Chunk "adjusted his behavior to avoid most direct contact with other large male bears."

Who are the other large bears in your office? Who can you easily outfish and who may take all your salmon and leave you starving, come winter? You know you should avoid HR at all costs, but to take the next step up the ladder, maybe you need to put distance between yourself and the scary bears in marketing, sales or accounting. You don't have to fight them all. Just find a safe spot in the organization where you can fish in the river and not be disturbed.

No. 2: Eat Now and You Won't Starve Later

Stuff yourself when it comes to snatching assignments as they flow downstream, especially those projects that you won't be able to finish. That way, when management gathers to decide who should get the ax, you won't be considered. You'll simply have too much to do.

No. 3: By Their Scat Shall You Know Them

Hikers in Katmai Park recognize the proximity of bears by observing the scat they leave on the trail. In the same way, you should leave signs of your presence throughout the office. Business droppings can include donut shards left scattered on conference room tables, amusing "Thanks for Being Awesome" gnomes, put on the desks of co-workers, and impromptu parties, thrown to celebrate the return of a lost stapler, or important events, like National Bubble Wrap Appreciation Day.

People who work at a company can be fired. People who become a part of the company have jobs for life.

No. 4: Winter is Coming

The salmon may be spawning now, and all is going well for you at work, but remember, winter is coming. It could be an AI winter this year, when the leaves turn and the jobs drop, as management decides that everything you do could be done better and cheaper in a data center in Iceland. Even if things at work are going well, you must always be hungry, always be fishing, always be eating. And always keep an eye on your competition.

"The merely chubby have been winnowed away," said a naturalist, who surveyed the contenders. "We are left with a clash of titans."

This surely is true in today's hostile business environment, but never fear -- you're a survivor, a contender, a titan. Stuff yourself now and when winter comes, you're sure to be hibernating peacefully in a corner office on the top floor with perks galore and a salary that could choke a bear.

If Chunk can do it, so can you.

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Bob Goldman was an advertising executive at a Fortune 500 company. He offers a virtual shoulder to cry on at info@creators.com. To find out more about Bob Goldman and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.

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